A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I was in high school I always considered myself straight, and figured that I would eventually find a guy I liked. I have since graduated and still haven't found a guy I like (I have never had a b/f). I have always thought girls were pretty or beautiful, but I am now finding myself attracted to girls. I have no problem with being gay, my problem is all the confusion I am feeling. I have always felt different than my friends, they would be talking about a guy and I wouldn't see what they saw, but I would think the girl he was with or the girl he liked was pretty, they didn't like her. The more I think about my life so far the more I think I might be gay.I am afraid to tell anyone how I feel, not because they will disown me, but because I don't want to look like a fool, one minute saying I am straight and the next that I am gay, and the next that I am just confused.thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): You don't have to label yourself "gay" or "straight". If you want to talk to a friend about how you feel, simply tell them you've been feeling attracted to girls, and that you don't know exactly what those feelings mean yet. Confusion is not the same as foolishness!
And just do what feels right to you. If you meet a girl and there is a mutual attraction there, don't hold back because you're still labeled "straight", go for it! If anything, experimenting will help you feel less confused about who you are.
As for the b/f issue, I'm 21 now, and have been dating my very first b/f for a year. I used to feel confused myself, and even a bit bitter a couple of years ago, but once I just let go of all that and decided to focus more on other aspects of my life, that's when he came along and everything came together for me. I'm not saying the same will happen to you, just don't resign yourself to a specific lifestyle yet, you're still young, and you've got plenty of time to work things out.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 November 2008):
Take your time, see what happens.
I think the fact that you have never been interested in boys will be pretty obvious to your friends and family so they may not be as shocked as you think.
However, you don't have to come out and tell them.
Just carry on as you are until you are happy in your own mind.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Lib1 +, writes (18 November 2008):
 I thought I was really confused when I began seeing myself helping my neighbor raise her daughter (the husband was never around). I realized in my thoughts I wasn't just helping her raise her daughter I was also being like a husband to her. I really fell hard for my neighbor. But I always thought of myself as straight as well and never had a boyfriend at that point. Well it confused me. How could I have crushes on boys but want to be my neighbor's significant other. Was I gay or straight!?Well I was bisexual and it took months of anguish and confusion for me to figure that out. I don't know what I felt I had to commit to one extreme or the other at the time. But when I realized that I genuinely had romantic feeling about both sexes I felt much better. I never really told anyone but overtime people realized I had feelings for both because I was living my life with honesty but I wasn't shouting it from the roof tops.You know have to fully commit to anything more than your feelings and your sexuality is your business. It doesn't need a label. Most people say that they don't think I could count myself as bi because I have never had a girlfriend. Well then no one can be straight or gay until their first relationship according to that B.S.Just enjoy life and pursue your feelings with its appropriate. As long as the person is a healthy good person that treats you well then you're good to go. Relax.
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