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anonymous
writes: About sometime last year I found out that my b/f had found other friends while I was overseas studying. there were cell phone messages from these women declaring their undying love for him, and he told me that they were just "hopefuls" - he never had anything with any of them. I let that go, but after a while while just browsing his cellphone, I found other messages....I confronted him and he told me the same story. Now he does not even leave his phone anywhere, it's always in his pockets, and even when I need to use it, he won't let me. He obviously has things to hide from me, and this is making me more suspicious as I did recently see a message from another woman. His problem is that I am snooping in his phone, and my issue is the more suspicious he acts about his phone the more suspicious I become. I have no problem with him looking at my phone, but he does not want me ever touching his. I'm even thinking of ending it because I cant trust him, I'm always suspecting him of cheating. Hwo do we deal with this? Reply to this Question
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reader, envy +, writes (17 May 2005):
I had this problem myself with my partner not so long ago, he didnt go over seas or anything but he was a complete chatroom addict and forever had women ringing and texting him as i dont live with him and could not watch his evry move i was convinced he was meeting these women that he was speaking to. in the end we split up for a short while. it did us the world of good. i realised i could survive on my own as much as i missed him and he realised the error of his ways and that some things in life where more important than his wap women. so after a few month apart and us still loving each other we met up for a chat. i explained to him exactly how his disguising numbers in his phone book and hiding his mobile made me feel like i was not good enough for him and that i felt that he was looking for something better and just waiting for it to come along and he understood how much it was geting me down and knocking my self confidence. since that day thngs could not be better i can go to bad on the nights i do stay at his knowing that he aint ringing these women anymore whilst im tucked up asleep and vice versa he no longer hides his mobile and the volume is always switched on his house phone he does not have to but even when a txt comes through on his mobile he will show me it, not that i ask him to do this i think its just his way of trying to make me feel a bit more secure in our relationship. anyway evryone is diffrent and my advice is probably useless to you but hell speaking from past experience it worked for me.
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