A
female
age
41-50,
*ibob
writes:Hello,The man with whom I'm in love has been offered a contract worth $ 270 000. He is so thrilled about this new opportunity. However, to be able to execute the contract, he has to show proof that he has $50 000 in his bank account. He only have part of the money in his bank account. He tried to get a loan from the bank but the bank is only giving him $ 10 000. Now, he wants me to take a loan of $ 20 000. He said that as soon as he gets paid,he's going to pay the loan outright. I really can't take such a big risk. We are not even married and I don't know the future of our relationship. I would like to explain this to him without making him feel that I don't want to support him.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 That's a scam, and an old one as for that. " Un unknown benefactor has left you 100.000 USD, but to get it, first you have to pay 10.000 in legal fees ". " The government of Bananaland,because of some whacko laws of theirs, is offering productive gold mining strips at a public auction for a nominal bid of 50 cents, so with a few dollars , you can gey your own gold mine- only, to be able to partecipate to the auction, you need to leave a security of 10.000 " Etc. etc. There are countless variations of this scam.
Specifically, no way it can be a legit contract, or sub contract. That's not how it works at all with contract tenders. What guarantee the company would have if the contractor has 50.000 on his personal bank account ?? What do they care ? He could close the account the day after, blow all the money , and totally fuck up the completion and delivery of works - also having eaten in the meantime any advance payment that may have been provided . Often the contractor is required to provide bank guarantees for a percentage of the whole business value, or to vinculate a certain amount of money in a special account that nobody can touch for a certain period of time, or there may be other clauses and conditions, but no way it's so slapdash as " hey I've got 50 grands in the bank ".
It sounds like either he is trying to scam you, or he is the one being scammmed - and either way, you don't want to have nothing to do with it. Hold on to your money and don't worry about being " nice " !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): Just tell him sorry you don't have that kind of money, end of.
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A
male
reader, grymsoul  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 NEVER EVER lend any amount of $$$ you are uncomfortable with to a lover. This does sound like a scam and if it was genuine he would have went to family first, someone he can't so easily avoid if this was a hoax.
My ex asked to burrow $500 from me at one point in our relationship. I kindly told her that I couldn't lend her that amount because I didn't know her well enough. She understood. If she had asked for $20,000, I would have probably died of laughter on the spot.
Don't do it. Let him get it somewhere else. There are too many questions on DC of women asking how to get thier money back from thier partner.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (3 November 2012):
you're kidding me right?! why would you need to show proof of any money to execute a contract, seriously you are being scammed. get out of there, fast. and RUN
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): So sorry to say this but it sounds like a scam. He very conveniently has a large sun of money coming to him soon but just needs £20,000 right now. There is a very good saying "Do not lend what you cannot afford to give away" if you out £20000 in his account the chances of seeing it again are slim.
Please don't do it, if he truly loves you he will understand you cannot afford that sort of money and especially would not ask for you to take out a loan. If its that important he can ask friends and family.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): Don't do it!!! You right, your not even married to him. That is a huge risk on your part. I once loaned the man I was in love with over a $1,000. We broke up shortly after & he never gave me a dime. If for any reason you do decide, have everything documented & notarized. I've learned my lesson, never again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): "The man I'm dating wants to borrow 20,000.00. How do I tell him no nicely?"You can't tell him "no" nicely. You can only tell him "no." No bleeping way is he going to be nice about it. And it's a scam, either someone is scamming him or he's scamming you (most likely scenario). In any event neither he nor you will ever see the $270,000 he's been allegedly been offered, and you most certainly will never see one cent of any amount you "loan" him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): Just say no and this "I really can't take such a big risk."
Basically tell him the truth, plus OP this is the most scam sounding thing ever. Do not give him money, no contract is ever offered based on the amount of money you have, that's not how it works at all. Name one business transaction where they need to know you have a certain amount of money first other than an investment or loan? Its a scam and a bad one at that. It's the same kind of scam you hear about "I need 10,000 to pay a fee to release millions from my dead relatives will." It's bullshit, you never ever need to show you have money to execute a contract where you're given money, that's a huge load of bullshit. Seriously don't fall for it.
Now if you somehow get convinced this is somehow a real thing and decide maybe out of love that you will give him some money, then you ask for a copy of the contract and you have it reviewed by a lawyer of your choosing first I bet you'll see no such thing and even if I'm wrong and everything is legit and somehow where you're from this makes sense then get him to sign a legally binding contract to pay you back. I don't know what the law is like there and how bad corruption is but here a signed contract means you get your money back.
I say don't do it, big loans and love don't mix at all well and this smells like such a huge scam OP, I see no legal nor logical reason why any of this makes sense. Have 50k in your bank so we can give you 270k? Doesn't happen, makes no sense.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 November 2012):
 I recommend that you say to him something like this:
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F**KING MIND? YOU THINK I'VE GOT MONEY TO BURN AND ALLOW YOU TO PUT AT-RISK????? SERIOUSLY.... JUST HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM???????"
That should get the message across to him.....
Good luck....
P.S. I could use a few bucks. I've got a sure-bet on the fourth race at Hialeah, tomorrow.... Care to invest????
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): He shouldn't ask you in a first place. Don't lend him any money!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 November 2012):
 No, just no.
I would just tell him that you can't afford it and that you are not interested in doing personal loans. I mean honestly if the bank won't lend him the 30,000 or 20,000 WHY should you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): I have never heard of a job that requires you to show proof of having money in the bank before getting the job. It sounds suspicious to me. I would not do it at all. Say you already have outsanding debts or that you do not have good credit. Or just be honest and say you love him but you can not take the risk of a loan.Or you could just say you got declined for the loan.Anyway, it sounds very strange to me, I would stay away. Dont let him manipulate you because he knows you love him
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