A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone,I am currently living with 4 roommates in a large city on the East coast. Needless to say, rent is extremely expensive and it's hard to find an apartment that isn't super small and has everything we want in a place.One of my roommates, K, would like to move in with her cousin and has invited me to move in with them. I am a little bit older (she is 24, her cousin is 22, and I am turning 27 this week) and make much more money than them combined. We are close and I agreed to it.I am a self-taught software engineer, but my credit is very poor due to stress buying in my previous relationship. I have been rebuilding my credit like mad (having 3 roommates help since rent is super cheap, I am paying about $775 right now total) but I suspect I would not be approved for a place on my own with my credit. I have a lot of money coming in, but I have a lot of debt as well.K makes about $37k yearly and works a very regular 9-5 customer service job. J, her cousin, is a full time law student and has a fixed income of $800 to put towards rent. She received a full ride to law school and is taking out a loan for rent, which is pretty common where we are located.K can only put $900 towards rent. She and I are fairly close. When we were looking at apartments, I told her that I'd be fine with paying more in rent for a bigger room/own bathroom/etc. She told me she had money set aside for parking (usually 100-200 per parking space where we live) but if parking was free, then she could put the 100-200 towards rent. She also told me she would be getting a raise this year and could put more in when she does.We finally found a place and have signed on - this place has everything we need: it has two free parking spaces, walking distance to the subway for J who does not have a car, and is a very short 10 minute commute for K. It even has in unit laundry. My commute doesn't really matter (~40 minutes on my end at this new place versus the 30 now) but I only go into the office 2-3x a week max.The thing is, the third bedroom (which I would be getting) is in the basement, but it's a large basement with its own bathroom included. K's room is fairly large but very sunny and pretty nice. I spoke to the tenants currently living there (which I am acquainted with) and they told me how they split the rent. They told me that although the basement was HUGE and had its own bathroom, it has no sunlight, so they charged $1050 for the basement and $975 for the large room, and the smaller room was $875. Since J can only do $800 (and admittedly, the smaller bedroom is a lot smaller compared to the other 2 rooms available) I asked K if she was fine with splitting the difference. I would do something like $1100 and K could do $1000, since parking was free AND she had told me she would put the money set aside for parking towards rent. She agreed.Turns out, K cannot afford to do it. She didn't calculate her finances correctly and can only do $850 on her income alone. We have already signed the lease and I am looking at paying $1250 to shoulder the burden.We have gotten into a huge fight over it which she has apologized, and while I can afford it, I am really upset that she messed up. Our friendship has definitely taken a hit and I am beyond annoyed with her, but I am trying to be empathetic too. I understand she does not make as much as I do. I asked her about her salary increase and she admitted that she recently found out that she'll be making the same amount for about two more years before she could get promoted. Her raise was something like $1 more per hour. I asked why she wanted to stay at her job (she loves it) and we're kind of butting heads on it right now. The thing is, she is financially dependent on her family still (they pay for her car insurance, phone, etc) so not making a lot of money isn't a huge deal to her. This drives me insane (as someone who has worked VERY hard without a formal education to make the amount I do) and I find it hard to comprehend why she's satisfied with her income and barely making the rent.The only pro that I have gained here in paying more rent money is that I have my own private bathroom/private floor, but I have sacrificed more money and a slightly longer commute. She and her cousin are the ones gaining much more without much sacrifice on their end.Honestly, I feel really used, but K is a very good friend and I am not sure what to do about the situation. At this point, since the lease and deposit has been signed and made, I feel that I am trapped in this situation for another year come September. Thoughts?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2020): Reads to me as if you got conned. This so called friend of yours lied to you repeatedly to get you to leave the situation you were in for a longer commute and more rent? And then as soon as your name is on the dotted line she say "Whoops I don't have the money my bad." there seems to be a real load financial naivety on your part.I
Why isn't the cousin paying rent? is her name on the lease? If it is tell K that she is responsible for a third of the ren, as is K. If she isn't then tell K if this the cousin doesn't kick in a third of the rent she can't live there. If she tries to let her the cousin stay report her to the landlord.
And for the length of your lease treat K as what she is a user you share an apartment with.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2020): The way you all came-up with how you'd divvy the rent makes no sense to me. Three people usually divide the rent three-ways, and negotiate on utilities.
You relied entirely on someone's word, but you never got any solid proof of her ability to pay. You admit yourself, that you couldn't get an apartment due to your credit-rating; so in some ways, you break-even.
If you've signed the lease and made the deposit; your only option out is to forfeit your deposit, and get your roommates and landlord to approve breaking the lease. I don't think that would be a smart move.
Paying more is usually the case for poor credit. Car loans and credit cards are higher interest. Landlords are wary of tenants with poor credit, or a pile of debt; yet somehow this landlord accepted you.
You'd have to budget precisely, but your best move is to stay put; until the lease runs out. It might be dicey, but you have at least one flaky-roommate; who probably lied, so she wouldn't get left-out of the deal.
You don't have to live entirely in the basement do you? Do you share the kitchen, living-room, and dining-room areas? Is your basement-bedroom all you get out of this deal? Did you think this through clearly?
You're going to need a lot of pictures and "natural-daylight" lighting to brighten-up the place. You should use light colors for drapes, bed spreads, and seating. Don't paint in dark colors. That should alleviate gloominess and any claustrophobic-effect.
You can't afford to back out now. Pressure should still be placed on the one paying the least. She knew from the start she wasn't getting a raise or promotion. It didn't suddenly dawn on her. No sense in fighting; but there should be times she contributes more, because rent isn't usually divided based on the size of bedrooms. They are rarely, if ever, all the same size. Your entire plan is a mess.
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A
male
reader, Justryingtohelp  +, writes (10 June 2020):
Unless you can get your landlord to accept less rent (unlikely) or get someone with more money to take over the lease on one of the other rooms (would need agreement of incoming and outgoing tenants and landlord), then yes, you are stuck for the duration of the lease you signed. I understand it's aggravating and "unfair" but if you spend the rest of the lease duration complaining about it, it is going to be a very long 12 months+ for you and both the other tenants. You have no right to tell your friends how to run their lives. Chalk this one up to experience. Next time get it in writing exactly what everyone is expected to pay. For the remainder of the time on the lease keep reminding yourself you have your own apartment in the house and that you are lucky enough to earn enough money to pay for it. Don't fall out with your friends otherwise you will make everyone's life uncomfortable, including your own.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2020): I’m annoyed on your behalf with this and so sorry this happened. As someone who also made 37k and lived on my own in another expensive east coast city, I don’t have a whole lot of sympathy for her and her parents footing some of her bills. I had a bad situation with a roommate a year ago with unequal rent paying and felt trapped like you do now. I stayed, and it drove me crazy for a whole year. The eviction notice was the worst part. It’s not too late for you to back out of this. Especially with COVID, many landlords are being more flexible with leasing terms and contracts. I advise that you try to get out of this lease or find a sub leaser. If you can’t, you need to put your foot down and say you cannot afford 1250. She and her cousin should make up the difference. I’m a fan of compromising, so say you’re willing to do $1100 instead of $1250, but in order to pay off your debts, you’re not comfortable going over $1100. I’m not sure what city you’re in, but I feel like you could get a one bedroom and avoid roommates at that price! Stand strong in your convictions- I think you’ll regret it if you cave and pay more! I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2020): Since you cannot get a lease on your name just leave.They changed the terms after the move in so legally you can move.They did not care that you must pay most of the rent...so you should leave because they have changed the terms.They are not friends....they are using you.You should have learned that you cannot buy your friends in grade school.These are not friends.Time to move unless you plan on supporting them forever.Next time you rent get everything in writing so you are not stuck paying more than you agreed to.You must be very young.
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