A
female
age
30-35,
*wertypoo
writes:Ive been with my boyfiend for almost 4 years now, and ive put up with so much of his stuff it pushed me to the last straw. he went out to eat with another girl on valentines day and she stayed the night. he says nothing happened and he didnt pay but still it really pissed me off. well anyways i went without talking to him for a few days and saturday i went up to his college and hung with my friends, and i needed a place to stay bc i was sick and my friends were still out so i asked him. well when i got to his house that girls stuff was still at his house and it upset me so we talked til 5 in the morning. the next day he told me he was going to start writing in a notebook every night before bed, and i asked him why and he told me because he emailed a lady at the school about getting consuling, and thats what she told him to do til she could make an appointment on monday. well he has an appointment at 4 with her today. i think its a good step, because hes never actually tried fixing things before. hes cheated on me many times he cant ever talk to me, etc. i think he might be scared to get so invovled with someone since his parents got divorced when he was really young, but thats just what i think. do you think i should stay with him? do you think he might actually grow up and be a great boyfriend? hes an amazing boyfriend when he wants to be. oh another thing i dont like is how hes always trying to get in my pants but i know hes 19 and he has raging hormons. could someone give me advice? i really love this guy 2 death and ive helped him out so much and when i need him he is always there. i tried moving on but i cant hes all i think about. so if someone could give me advice i would greatly appreciate it. thanks
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cheated on me, divorce Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ashana21  +, writes (23 February 2010):
u might not like this answer, but u need to DUMP HIM!, u need ur man to respect u.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): "hes an amazing boyfriend when he wants to be."
" oh another thing i dont like is how hes always trying to get in my pants but i know hes 19 and he has raging hormones."
how can you get over someone when your making excuses for them? I realize that you are young and have not experienced much but when is enough enough?
is it when you catch him actually having sex with another girl? Or will he be able to tell you his counselor told him that it was best for him?
You may not like what im about to say but,
you don't hold him accountable and make excuses for him... thats a cheaters dream partner.
you dont want it to end and will do anything and make up any excuse to be with him. So there is nothing anyone can do to help you. You have to decide whether or not you like how it is.. cause truth be told its "either-or" not somewhere in the middle. either accept the fact that you want to be in a relationship with a lying troll and expect to get some wack disease or let the troll go and find a MAN who will respect you and love you.... only you have that power you just need to make the decision.
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A
female
reader, bobsky38  +, writes (23 February 2010):
i think you should forget about this guy and move on. you have obviously given him lots of chances and he is taking the p. he is disrespecting you by keep doing this and obviously has not learnt his lesson from the past. although it will hurt you need to take control of your life and get rid of this cheat.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): I just got out of a relationship that sounds a bit like yours.
My guy...all he did was take, take, take, mess you over and treat you badly but in your mind, it's all justified for one reason, one excuse or another. You think that anything that's going wrong is just a minor glitch and keep thinking he's amazing even though you can't quite remember why he's amazing anymore. He's managed to manipulate your thoughts on a subconscious level so you just gloss over the bad stuff and cling onto a hope that someday, some far distant day he will magically turn into what you need.
Sound familiar?
Try making a list of all the good things you remember about your relationship and make another list of all the bad things you remember. See which side is longer and even though it's going to be painful - you should have your answer as to what you have to do.
And remember that nothing that has happened is due your "inadequacy", you sound like an amazingly caring, and patient human being and your boyfriend sounds like he doesn't deserve the love you're offering him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): you have to dump him. You have to face the facts his cheating is a character trait and he will just keep on doing it. It is who he is. It is not worth getting yourself hurt just to stay in the friendship. Think about it... he doesn't respect you or your relationship and it takes two committed people to make a relationship. His behaviour will continue so get out now and find yourself a man who will treat you right. I'm sorry i know it will be hard but thing of all the good thinks you are missing in a respectful relationship...don't you deserve respect ...trust and honesty. Good luck .
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A
male
reader, witeboi420 +, writes (22 February 2010):
you should dump him if u keep giving him chances he's gonna think he can get away with it forever
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