A
female
age
41-50,
*bosede
writes:i am a young lady, i'm confused about relationaships, about whether someone can enter into it and be successful at last as many relationships run down due to some reason or reasons.in fact i'm not into any relationship yet bcos of this reason.explain better and clearer to me the importance of engaging into any relationship and the consequences please. i dont know what to do next. bcos i dont want to regret of falling in love with men of nowadays, all about them is sex. and all. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Yes, many relationships fall into decline for one reason or cumulated reasons. Nevertheless knowing this should not pull you back from engaging into one, only make you feel more aware of potential risks. It sounds as though you fear a failure, which prevents you from having or wanting to have a relationship. You ask of the consequences of one. Many people who don't have a relationship until older age, whether they were too shy or frightened to welcome their opportunities, or other unfavourable context hindered them in this department, as well as those who voluntarily withdraw from social life or companionship to devote their lives to other generally religious purposes and only later discover it is not their very truthful vocation, may encounter frustrations, anxiousness, neurosis, excessive timidity etc. Undeniably certain people don't feel the need to share a relation, generally they serve religious purposes, have special beliefs, sense of discipline. Of course, every relationship implies responsibility, risks. You needn't be afraid of entering this territory. Emotions if we allow so can control our lives, I'm talking about fear, depression, guilt and so on. You have preconceived ideas about men. If you enter into a relation looking down to the opposite sex or anticipating fearfully supposed reiterated blameworthinesses, you need to reanalyse this position. Also, looking forward to a relationship you have to expect good and bad weather as well but it is unreasonable to stay isolated because you are afraid to assume risks. That is a factor that can be of a damaging nature for your growth, the growth brought by a relationship. The consequences of a relationship, they vary, as are negative and positive. But they will always [teach] you important facts to be considered for the following experiences. Do not fear falling in love. It means you fear life. And life "happens" whether you fear it or not. You must want to be an active part in this phenomenon. To live. I remember somebody on DearCupid complained about the complexity of relationships and how problems he read about made him feel paranoid. These are real situations that may happen or may not. They should rather make you feel more conscious and aware.Any more details added to your initial question would sure use to have a better understanding of your situation. All the best.
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