A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 and a about 6 months ago i started chatting online as a penpal with a service member fighting in iraq. He's married and has 3 children and we really became good friends. We would chat on a daily basis and send letters and pictures back and forth. After time, he started talking more and more like we were in a relationship and less and less like we were friends. It happened kind of gradually, so I didn't really realize what had happened until he told me he loved me. Here was my big mistake. Not right away, but shortly there after, i told him i loved him too. I do care a great deal for him, but he's married and it just doesn't seem right. At first I was thinking, it doesn't matter, this is just for fun while he's there and can't do anything else. He used to say it was either talk to me or look at porn all night. So I figured no harm. Last month he's telling me how bad things have always been between him and his wife and how he loves me and can see us together one day etc... I told him as nicely as I could that I would always care for him, but I didn't want to talk to him anymore. He sends me emails daily, sometimes more often. At first it was nice like I'll always love you and I just want you to be happy... but as the weeks went on, it became how he can't live without me and how sad he is all the time. I started talking to him again a few days ago because he sounded so desperate. I am afraid of him doing something drastic, possibly hurting himself. He seems so sad. Any advice on how to break this off? Maybe I should do it slowly? I don't know. Has anyone had a similar situation? I don't want anything bad to happen to him and he's there for another 9 months, but I can't keep doing this. I'd never forgive myself if anything bad happened to him though. HELP!! :)Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
You just have to do it and stay away from speaking to him love, He is married and if he has a problem at home then he should deal with that rather than go on chat lines or as his words were watch porn, You being the substitute. He should be honest with his wife and if there is no marriage left then he should leave. He is away alot of the time anyway and she probably has no idea. Hunny do yourself a favour and dont let him make you feel bad he has never met you. Your a fantasy while he is away, Why does he choose chat lines when he could speak to his wife, Who is probably worried sick. He may not have told you truths so you will never really no. Find someone who is not married and be happy without all this worry love. TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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