A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is quite the long and complicated story but I will try and keep it simple. I met a woman about six months ago who revealed to me that she was bisexual very early on. When we first met I noticed that we had a strong connection and the more I got to know her the more this intensified. Initially we had our first discussion about where our relationship was going after we kissed and at that point in time she was greatly afraid, and said she wasn't ready for commitment. After that I thought things were going to go downhill, but to my surprise the exact opposite happened. I guess it was because I was understanding about everything. So things became quite intense between us, from spending a lot of time with one another to daily calls/texts. It certainly felt like it was slowly progressing in the right direction. I just thought that she needed to build more trust with me. But to my dismay, recently I asked her how she felt about being in a relationship with a woman...And she told me she just could never be in one since she thinks she is more inclined towards men sexually. She has never been in a relationship with a woman (only sexual experiences), has had numerous bad relationships which ended in her partners cheating and has a lot of emotional problems. Therefore it is difficult to discern whether or not she is being fearful or truthful with what she states. I wholeheartedly want to be her friend because we have such an amazing, deep connection, but I cannot help but feel that there is much more to our "friendship" when we spend time with one another. Just from the way she looks at me, extended hugs, attentiveness to details, daily calls etc...I requested and took some time and space from her for a while, thinking it would help, but alas it didn't. What should I do? This girl sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and I fear will only come to her senses when I move on to another woman. Will this be the classic case of "the heart wants what it cannot have?"
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2012): Thank you all for your responses. Its very much appreciated!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 October 2012):
 If I am really honest with you I think you are waiting around for something that is never going to happen. Yes she may be bisexual and attracted to women but she has admitted herself that she would rather be in a relationship with a male. This is something that you are just going to have to accept. I can see her friendship is important to you, and my guess would be that it is to her as well. But it is going to be difficult for you to maintain such a close friendship when you have stronger feelings for her. I don't think you should live in hope. Go out with other friends and have fun, meet new people and go dating other people.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAunt +, writes (3 October 2012):
 'Will this be the classic case of "the heart wants what it cannot have?' - Probably, But thats not your fault as you gave her plenty of chances.
It seems to me like all she's going to do is mess you around. You don't need that. Move on! You can just as easily find someone else out there who you have an excellent connection with and who returns your feelings. You deserve to be happy and you're not going to be if you keep this woman in your life, trust me.
Give her a final chance if you must, but seriously make it the FINAL chance. If she's still not interested.. move on.
Best of luck,
be happy!
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