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anonymous
writes: I love a girl I was sleeping with a year ago. We have always been good friends & I hear from the grapevine that she still has feelings for me, but she has hooked up with a guy that I know is not a nice person, & is using her. She has had a bit of a stormy upbringing, & is quite vulnerable to the attentions of a good looking guy. She seems to find the sexual attention of this guy as a sign of love, but both me & all my friends can see through this. We cannot get close to her to help her see the situation. We are just hoping she will come to her senses soon, before it's too late....She has already had a miscarriage of this guy's baby, & he is married with many kids himself, & we cannot see him hanging around, if she has a baby!......Do I let her go & lead her life as is, or do I keep trying to stay a loyal friend, & maybe win her love back? I do not want her to think that I'm interfering with her life as she seems to think she is very independent, & knows what she is doing!....Any ideas, people? Reply to this Question
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 February 2005):
 I think what you are doing now is the right thing to do; being a loyal and caring friend. If she is aware that you are there for her then she will turn to you when the need arises. It sounds as if she is likely to do this.It is probably due to low self worth that she is even attracted to this guy in the first place and therefore misinterprets his attention as love. She needs to work this out herself though and she will do eventually. Your job could be to tell her what a lovely person she is and that she has a lot to offer someone(would be nice if it was you!).I'm afraid all you can do is be her friend and let her know that you are there for her. If she asks directly for your advice then do give it but the ball really is in her court.I hope this helps.
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