A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went out to eat breakfast with this guy(J) I met since orientation in college. We had such a good time. Well problem is that we had each others number but didn't text each other at all. Also, I am talking with someone(X) for almost 2 years but nothing has been official I've just been there waiting and hoping X could tell me everything about himself, instead of just bits and pieces. Well I had dropped out of college and then recently got back in again and asked to borrow J's books for a class. J said yes and that's been our only connection. So since classes have finished, I decided to give J his books back and he at first said 'Yeah I'll meet you at school in the morning.'Then later J said that if I wanted to eat breakfast with him instead and I said yes. I had a crush on J since orientation day but I never really gave too much thought as to flirting with him cause it died down when I left school. He's very intelligent,funny,a gentleman and I feel like he's way better than me. I feel the same way about X, but he never really wants to talk to me about school or doesn't ever want to give me a definitive answer to what "we" are. X used to be so nice and tell me sweet things every single time we talked in the beginning of our relationship?(Idk what we are)He used to be everything that J is. I asked J to pick me up, he said sure and we went for breakfast. We were talking about school and our past in middle school. We were laughing, and I was really shy that I hope he didn't notice. Then he asked if I was single I said yes and he seemed surprised by my answer and asked why I was. I asked the same thing and he told me he was talking to someone who had a son, he was interested in her but that she was pushing him away by saying she didn't want him attached to her. So he said he stopped communicating with her since he had the hunch she was going to get back with her ex.Well all that happened he started to talk to me about his work and what he does. Something X stopped doing too. Then we started talking about music and shows that we used to watch. The compatibility is 100% and that's something that I wish I had with X. There's things X and I talk about and are like 'yeah me too.' but it wasn't the same, something was different.It's nothing like this breakfast I had with J. J then did something X never has done, he asked what my favorite animal was, I felt that was something so important to me. X and I never asked each other anything like this. X has never once asked me what is my favorite animal, when is my birthday, my favorite color. I've asked him but he never gives me an answer he just tells me you're silly or I'll tell you later. I could be making a big deal out of nothing, but I felt that this little thing did count so much. That someone actually wanted to know what the hell I liked for once and what I am into. J and I finished eating breakfast and headed back to my home. Along the way, he said that whenever I felt like we should hangout again one day and to tell him so he could check his schedule to see if he's free. I said ok and once he left me home the door was locked and he had unlocked it when we went out for breakfast, so it got awkward and I just said "ok well thanks for breakfast, I got you next time." Then I got nervous that I forgot to unlock the door so I just gave him a side hug then I unlocked it. It felt like something was supposed to happen in that awkward moment but it didn't happen.I am not sure if I should tell X or not because we are still talking but lately he's been distant. The other day we got into an argument b/c I went out with a friend, I was so mad I said I was gonna go ahead and probably not text him anymore and he told me "Do what you want lol" Obviously he doesn't care. He used to ask who was I going with and who I talked to. Now it's just like whatever and I don't like it. I want something X but am I being to ignorant and foolish with the way I'm handling this? Should I tell J I want to see him again soon?
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crush, flirt, her ex, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 May 2015):
 EDIT :
I wrote:
Which is kind of superficial and really very serious. More like a pen-pal (only with texting)
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Should have been:
Which is kind of superficial and really NOT very serious. More like a pen-pal (only with texting)
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 May 2015):
I have to say for now? I'd pick neither.
You have known X for 2 year and never gone on a date? He has never asked you out? And most of your communication is through texting, if I get you right. Which is kind of superficial and really very serious. More like a pen-pal (only with texting)
J on the other hand, is INTERESTED in another girl. A girl who has a kid. While she MIGHT have been pushing him away, HE is still interested in HER or he wouldn't have mentioned it.
If you DO think there could be something here with either X or J, I'd go with J, but I'd go real real real slow. You don't want to be the rebound after his single-mom girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry for my question being very long. I figured that with details of my encounter, I could get a clearer response.
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