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The girlfriend complains a lot about her friend yet they still go out together, should the boyfriend have a say in this?

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

What do you think?

A girlfriend (lets call her Tracy) tells her boyfriend (lets call him Mike) about her old friend (lets call her Cat) on how Cat hasn't treated her right many times. There have been occasions where Cat asked Tracy for her help at events and borrowing some of Tracy's clothing. Also, there have been some situations where it involves school and prospective outlook since they are so-called "best friends" and help each other out.

Tracy tells Mike about how Cat would forget about Tracy when Tracy helped out at Cat's non-profit organization event where it involved modeling, sponsors, and borrowing Tracy's dress. Cat was ordering Tracy around even though Tracy was not part of the organization and Cat had other members of the organization there. Tracy did not feel that Cat was being a "friend" from that event. Another time Cat asked to borrow a dress from Tracy, but did not state the reason so Tracy assumed that Cat was going to wear it to an event. Instead, Tracy found out that Cat lend the dress to another of Cat's friend whom Tracy did not know. The problem was that the dress did not fit Cat's friend who was bigger than the dress so it stretched a little and Tracy complained to her boyfriend about it. The thing with prospective outlook is that Cat and Tracy are considered "best friends," and they supposedly tell each other about things that should help their future. Anyways, Cat knew something about how to get into medical school with a "fast track" program where you were guaranteed a spot if you kept up with the minimum requirements, and Cat knew that Tracy was pursuing that general path, but Tracy was never told anything about it. Tracy soon found out that Cat was involved with it and got upset that Cat did not share the information on the program. This was complained to Mike. There's also been other similar small instance where this happens and Tracy complains to Mike.

Mike in turn does not like Cat because of all of this and does not want to like her. They got in a fight several times about Tracy hanging out with Cat. Two years after it still happens. Mike does not want Tracy around Cat, but Tracy insists that the friendship will not be broken and Tracy will not give up the friendship because of Mike since she knew Cat longer than Mike. Mike hates the situation and still despises Cat. Tracy and Mike still argue today about Tracy and Cat being friends.

Should Mike have to put up with Cat being around? Should Tracy make Mike like Cat? Should Mike just let it go? So what do you think about the situation?

[Moderator's note: Please write in the first person if you refer to a situation you lived, everything that is narrated will be coloured by your outlook and the readers will find it easier to come close to your points of view.]

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A female reader, PunkyPippi United States +, writes (23 January 2009):

PunkyPippi agony auntMike needs to stay out of it because relationships between women who are best friends are very different than relationships between men.

Some girls love to hate each other, and it sounds like your girlfriend and her best friend are that type of girls.

Let them work it out, stay out of it, and be nice to Cat when she's around. If you try to split to two of them up, they'll gang up on you, and you'll wind up being the odd one out.

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