| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: There's this girl I had "something" with from around early May to mid July. We kissed and stuff, we went to the movies, we hanged out a lot, she'd text me almost every day, but we didn't even have sex. I asked her to be my gf and she told me no or was pretty unsure, and her attraction towards me clearly begun dropping at some point as she became more and more distant (while I become more and more clingy in response).One day I just assumed that nothing would happen so we met up with a mutual friend and when she left (the mutual friend) we had a "clousure" talk where I told her that I really *really* liked her and wanted her to be my gf and that if there was anything I could change, as I wanted to make sure that I had tried everything in my power to turn her "no" into a "yes" and had no regrets in the future. And I made it absolutely clear that I didn't want her to be *just* my friend. She told me that she wasn't ready for another relationship and some lame-ass excuses.So I went no-contact, and she did too. It was kind of a tacit agreement.Two weeks later she greeted me for my birthday and included some inside joke between us, to which I responded briefly "Haha thanks her name". I assumed that it was only her being polite.Then, two weeks after that I was walking out of class in Uni and I saw her from afar and she saw me and she almost run away. It made sense to me as I thought I would be the last person on Earth she'd want to bump into. But one hour after that she texted me asking if it was "possible" that she had saw me at that specific time and place. It was weird. I responded that it was, because I was going out of class and I had my car parked around there so it didn't look I was stalking her or something.After that I got a new number and I didn't tell her, nor our mutual friend.So one night they both called a friend of mine (a guy) to ask him for my new number. He gave it to them and they called me, they were both a bit drunk and I talked mostly with her. I wanted to make it brief, so I told her I had to go. She then added me to WhatsApp and wrote me through it. Again I made it brief and told her I was going to sleep (it was 6 am). After that, nothing, and it's been almost a week.So my question is, what is she doing? I mean, she knows how I feel about her and that she's only making it harder for me to move on. I don't think she's mean enough to back-burner me or talk me just for an ego-boost. And she's never said anything like "I miss you" or anything of the sort and knowing her, she never will, even if she does.Even if I'm the guy in the relationship, I don't want to ask her out again and expose myself to further rejection. I already put everything on the table back then, I'm not doing it again. Should I keep NC or plain asking her what does she want or what?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 September 2013):
 You call it a lame excuse I call it being polite. Would you rather be told “I’m not ready for a relationship now” or “you just don’t do it for me”
Clearly you don’t do it for her.
She does not want to be your girlfriend and she has told you as much, but even so the ego stroke of being chased by a man (even one we don’t’ want) is alluring.
You really have no shot in hell with her for a real relationship. I would go no contact 100% block her on social media. Block her email accounts. Block her phone number do not respond to her. If she is brazen enough to have mutual friends contact you for her, tell them to tell her “please leave me alone” and leave it at that. DO NOT feed her ego with “I can’t bear to be just friends when I want more”
Walk away and move on when you can. The more you keep in touch with her the longer this will drag out. Let your mutual friends know that you do not want them giving your info to her.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 September 2013):
 She likes the attention she got from you. She doesn't seem to get that it is hurtful for her to keep in contact when you want more and she knows it.
I don't she wants to date you, but I think she wants to have you "chase" after her.
I would just go no contact, if you see her, just wave or nod and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): You will never understand women. Sometimes our no means something else. Like maybe wait. or just not now. but not really no. My suggestion is why not initiate to strike a conversation again. A casual one. Forget the past and start all over as friends. Its really hard to get rejected over and over again. But how well do you know this girl? maybe she went through a very bad past relationship. we never know. If you really like her which i think u really do then its worth a try.
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A
female
reader, Skyscraper16  +, writes (8 September 2013):
There are many possible reasons why a girl would still cling and flirt to a guy she busted. Or maybe she wants everything to be okay.
As a person, sometimes I reject someone for a matter but it doesn't mean I want to hurt him.
Like her, she rejected you and she knew you're hurt because of what she have done. So she'll then think that it's her fault and then she'll think of things that will make both of you ok. Like talking to you and meeting you at some instances.
In return you'll think why she's doing those things, why Is she still here? Why is she still bothering you? Is she nuts or what? Or does she have feelings for me already?
The real reason, she wants both of you to be okay like a friendly relationship (friendship), not a romantic relationship. (Again, she already busted you right. Ant that's twice?)
Now you have to remain nice and friendly (I know it's awkward after what happened, but you have to.) And if it works that she won't bother you after it, the presto. But! If she's still annoying you, frank her that you don't like what she's doing even if she thinks it's nice.
Goodluck :)
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