A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Im here because I broke up with my bf of 2 years a week ago.. I was quite successful I had an apt a job finishing school..and since he had always said he wanted to move in together I was always bringing it up.. He never did..he would always just promise..and I'd go above and beyond to try and help him so we could be together. But I wasn't his priority..i left him because I didn't see that he loved me genuinly..i ended up having issues with the people that rented the other room and decided to leave to another city I lost my job..and he became even more distant..after that it was just arguments..anyway. I feel like I did the right thing. Because I didnt want to pressure him anymore.if it was love he shouldn't have felt it was pressure. But I feel like I always begged for time attention and love.. I was basically in love with the idea of us, ilove with him, in love by myself. I gave up hope. But it hurts. I sent him a message telling him how I felt. And it feels good I let that off my chest. Should I feel stupid..? How can I move on..
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): Sweetie, you're by no means stupid. You're just feeling a little down and depressed; because a series of unfortunate events. That will happen to each and every one of us, over time.
You can't let a chain of misfortune force you to believe that your dreams are foolish. Dreams are what we build upon. If they fail, we learn from our mistakes and continue on. You did what you felt you needed to do.
You are very young. Youthful relationships are designed to be short and many. They are all trial-relationships. You're learning the concept of love; and what it takes to achieve and sustain it. It isn't easy.
If you don't get right, it fails and forces you to try again. You learn a valuable lesson each time. If you're really stupid, you'll give up in frustration and cynicism. Life is what you make it. Love isn't always being in a state of euphoria. Its anger, confusion, and frustration...when you get the full package.
We will not all be famous, rich, or beautiful. We all have a chance at love and life. Some people make the best of it, even through all the trials and tribulations. They are survivors. They are the smart people. They appreciate their blessings.
The stupid people give up. They believe the world owes them something. They repeat the same mistakes over and over, and blame everyone else or find excuses; but never realize they didn't bother to focus on what caused the failure; in order to fix it. They can't cope. The wallow in despair, and chose defeat over hope. That's stupid. Giving up is easier than fighting for hope.
You were not stupid to break up with him. You realized what was failing. He had no ambition. He was unable to seek independence, and he wasn't honest about how he really felt about you. Loss of your job and the other subsequent mishaps in your life may be coincidental; but they aren't punishment for your decision. Fate didn't reign bad-luck on you for breaking up. You got a taste of adult life.
You shouldn't beg for attention or love. That is something that should come freely. If you have to demand it from someone, you are asking the wrong person. You shouldn't worry about attention. It's always around you. Just appreciate the positive and ignore the negative. Then you can make the best of what is received, no matter how small.
Life brings joy and happiness. It also brings grief and sorrow. We may sometimes dwell too long on our sorrows; because it's human nature to crave happiness. We despise any interruption of what makes us feel good.
So when pain and disappointment comes along, we are so caught up in feeling bad, we are tempted to lose hope.
Hope is a built-in mechanism that makes us start over. It is what lets us know, that although we can't see the future, we have the power to create and build it. That is called a "goal."
You rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. You learn from mistakes. You let go of the past, and you build your future on what you know, and keep setting those goals; and focus on achieving them. Cherish every good moment in your life. Hold on to them for times like these, when you're down. That is your inspiration to carry on. Just remember, you did it once before. You can still do it again.
You are very young and at the beginning of the long journey of life. You will experience heart-break, new love, misfortune, and many good opportunities. Your purpose is to survive with determination. Avoid regret and be thankful for all good things you have, no matter how small.
Time will sometimes drag, and it will sometimes flee in the blink of an eye.
You don't give up just because you're sad. It is only temporary. You've had bad things happen before. So now you prepare to start over. You look for a new job, you continue getting an education; so you can always get a better job.
You change the things you see in yourself, that you know are the reasons for failure.
You must accept that you are the only one in control of your happiness. You will not always be happy. You will experience sorrow. That's when you start to pick up those little pieces. Talk to the people you love the most. They give you strength. Look to your friends for peace of mind. Say a little prayer of thanks for even the tiny good things. They all add up.
You will move on. You started when you got the painful stuff off your chest. Let that be, and look forward. Not backward.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (2 August 2013):
 Ahh u never got proper closure. Wait a few more days n see how u feel about the message u sent. That might have been all u needed to do.
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