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The difference , between , I DO LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW . compared to I LOVE YOU .

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 July 2017)
A male United Kingdom age , *ecent man writes:

My ex girl friend , said to me now and again , I do love you, you know . Is she trying to say that she treated me badly ? I used to say to her I love you , I,m wondering what the meaning behind her saying is ? Thank you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2017):

"I do love you, you know!" has an unspoken concept behind it and it is one I have struggled with for years.

Its not just semantics or tone of voice!

This expression implies the unspoken qualifier which to me is "despite the trouble you give me"

"despite the things you do!"

"despite the fact you are so unlovable!"

"despite the fact your goddam broke with no money to spend on me!"

"despite the fact I could do better!"

or whatever the gripe is!

"I do love you " means "I do not love you but I am far too polite to say it outright!"

It does not mean " iluv u!"

You dont shout it from the roof tops or ply it across the skies on a big bold banner.

It means "I wish you would do what I want! but you wont because you are a bit of a nuisance and if you would stay in your cupboard a little bit longer, or find that extra cash or not be so blunt or not follow up my mistakes or just not be you ,then I would love you!"

You could imagine royalty saying this very politely to one another before vanishing for a good six months and its what drove lady D* crazy because she wholeheartedly loved one small hamster and her beautiful children!

It basically means to the discerning "wake up and smell the cofffee!"

"dance to my tune and dont listen to your own rhythmn!"

or "I shold love you but you are a social embarrassement to me "

Its an "if only" expression.

"If only you werent like this or that or the other!"

You could tap it back with "Not" and leave them wondering for years what it means rather than you puzzling over the level of their affection and their innate capacity to love you for years to come!

But there again thats my opinion.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2017):

I think it's an after-thought. It's too little to late to tell someone you love them once you've parted.

Why did you breakup? How long ago did you breakup? Was she mean to you? Did you fight a lot?

Give us the backstory and we can be more precise with our advice.

If she wasn't good to you; saying "I love you, you know" after the fact doesn't really mean anything at all.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (18 July 2017):

Aunty BimBim agony auntno, I would read that as her believing you doubted her love for you.

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