A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why is my ex being so unfriendly. She saw someone else behind my back, i found out walked away no questions or trouble. Very hurt.I thought if thats your choice good luck. Time passed a year or so i did everything i could to be friends or at least civil as we all work in the same building. Things werent gong well between them and at one point she tried to suggest id stirred things up (which i hadnt) at that point i said to her i made two mistakes with you 1) thinging you were worthy of my attention 2) you were worthy of my firendship, go away sort yourself out but do not drag me into your drama.At christmas a new year approaches, i think time to let the past be the past, i send a card wishing her all the best and can we please put the past behind us and move on as friends and maybe you can give me a smile.First time i see her she smiles, i think good sorted, nothing more. I must admit during the year of breakup she played games and i may as well sat at the back of the room, with my hand up saying "im still here give me a game" For the period we went out and shortly after valentines day 2008 i would always send something, i didnt this year no point i thought.Anyway this year i havent react to anything she has done, several efforts have been made to get a reaction out of me, i suppose testing if she has any hold over me, i have let them go ove my head i have simply been neutral and civil.The situation is now if i appear to be close or chat to any woman at work, even ones she has been friendly with, she gives them a look that could kill. Previously her behaviour o me has gone unnoticed but the girls concerned have seen it and said something to me. I no longer get a proper smile, i now get half a smile if im lucky, it reduced to a sorry smile on occasions i would describe it and now im not sure what it is.I dont know if she is seeing the other man or not, havent asked, but he is known for being a player, one of those who picks his targets, women who he catches a low moment and feeds them the lines for one thing. Anybody hazard a guess whats computing in her head ?? and how i deal with it ?
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at work, christmas, move on, my ex, period, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): I agree with Uncle Phil! Be civil and leave it at that! She is who she is, and you can't change it.
I suggest letting go altogether. Move on, and stop letting her rent space in your head!!!!
None of us will ever read minds. Don't try to figure it out. It will drive you crazy!
Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): You deal with it the same way as before - being civil but no more than that
As to what she's computing in her head - that's the biggest question of all time my friend! Did you see Mel Gibson in the film 'What women want'? That's the sort of thing you'll need to happen to you if ever you're to find the answer. You could make a King's ransom from such knowledge! It would be like finding the Holy Grail.
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