A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found a text message from his ex girlfriend. I've never been the suspicious type but lately my boyfriend and I have been going through a rocky patch. We had a really big arguement early on in September, which nearly caused us to break up, but we worked through it. Then last night I found a text message from his ex girlfriend, who I feel still wnats him back, saying "How'd it go? Me and "Dan" have broken up for good, I felt badbreaking his heart. Take care x".I felt really hurt cond confused. What did "how did it go?" mean? The text message was the day after we had the big arguement, was he discussing our problems with her?? And why would she feel the need to tell him she had dumped her boyfriend unless a) they were talking about breaking up, or b) she wants him to know she is available.He had saved the message in his "Saved messages" folder, it was just a number with no name, but I knew it was her.So I told him that I had heard through a mutual friend that he had been in contact with his ex and he got so angry and defensive and kept trying to twist the question, like saying "No, I haven't been meeting up with her!" and I was like "I didn;t ask if you had met up, I asked if you had been in contact". He was really cagey about it, not settling my mind at all.I just want to clarify that i don't suspect him of cheating, but I don't like having my problems discussed with anyone least of all an ex girlfriend, especially one who caused so much aggro early on in our relationship. If I had been in contact with my ex I would have been honest, not flipped out and got all defensive.What should I think??
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female
reader, drastic knowledge  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 well i am glad all went well between you and him and hope that you to are past this now and if anything it will make you atronger
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy boyfriend and I had a long chat last night. I waited until we had had dinner and a couple of drinks and were relaxed in front of the TV.I told him about what I'd seen and heard, about his ex. He explained that his ex had text him about something totally harmless like asking if her family member could use something his family own. I do think she was trying to gve him the message that she is now single though!I do believe him, I would never be with someone I don't trust.I explained to him that it hurt me that he had been talking about me to his ex. Sometimes I think men just don't get that kind of thing, he is a little immature in some ways, and it just showed through this time. He does understand this now. I think he just needed to talk to someone and she happened to text him at a time he was low, and his guard was down. He's not really the type to discuss personal problems with anyone but me, his family or very closest friends, he is very private.Personally I think she does still have feelings for him. I don't think he wants to be with her, if he did, he would be with her, not me. I'm sure they will still share a bond and 3 years together of memories that can't be replaced or replicated, but that is it.
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A
female
reader, drastic knowledge +, writes (26 September 2007):
well here goes i think he cares for you but has feelings for the ex too as what her text said it seems as the both agreed to break up with there partners and be together besides your bf didnt go thru with it or just not yet,
talk with him and tell him what you seen it can get worse but all needs to be on the table and you need to know where you too stand so the best of luck but i think you are up for a heart break the way it seems but i hope i am wrong and all goes well but hope the best but face the worse thats the way it works
take care
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