A
female
age
51-59,
*rissypro89
writes:Boy oh boy please dont judge me... I been in my relationship for over 13 years to be judged. You can't help who you love. I loved him since the day I met him in 3/1989. He was married with two kids, very handsome but he went with a lot of women. I knew a few years later when I ran into him again where he was headed. He told me PRISON. I wished him luck. I am not going to get into a lot of detail because this is 20 years ago. This is now ... he still is in prison. My husband has 5 more years left. We built a good relationship of what we can while he is away. I know he loves me and I love him but I do not feel this content feeling I once had for him. Let me explain - I told him 3 years ago get to know your kids before it is too late. They will be 28 and 26 when he comes out. When his daugther went to visit him a few years back she said I don't want to meet her. But before she went to visit him which was the end of 2007 he started to call to the house. His ex never remarried. She even wrote me in the beginning of 2008 cause her daugther and son emailed me very nasty emails saying you can visit my dad if you want but you will never know my family. Fall back bitch. His daugther wrote you made a mockery of my family. I wrote her back and said sorry you feel this way. She even said if I ever see you up there you better run the other way. My husband and I see each other mostly every weekend and I never back out of time with him unless I am very sick. When I went up on the Saturday and showed him the email he was very disappointed that his daugther wrote this. She then went to see him the next day which I didnt know when she would go up. When his ex wrote me in Feb. 08 saying you dont know who we are and you better never contact my kids or I will sue you for mental cruelty and your a misfit because you don't have kids. What disgust me (and this is where) I lost my feelings that I had for him is after me showing him these emails he still kept on calling. The kids being 20 and 22 were never home on a Friday night or Sat night at 10pm. He very rarely told me he spoke to the kids. I discovered then exactly how many times he calls and the time he calls. I did give him a hard time about it because I felt that he developed an emotional affair with his ex. He denies it, he swears on his fathers soul, his moms soul, our marriage his kids that her and him never talk about their past. Last Jan 08. he wrote to his daugther a 12 page letter about the TRUTH he used drugs. He was an addict. He wrote about me many times in the letter saying about the emails they sent me. Well, when they read it his ex sent him a nasty note that he did not show me. He said they felt insulted and when his mom read the letter (he sent her a copy) his mom yelled at him. They were only married from 1985 to 1990 and she left him because of his drug use, being with another woman and his criminal life he choose. Who can blame her...She sent him the divorce papers in the early 90's when he was away and something went wrong and we have to correct it on the paper. She wrote me years ago you will never know the real reasons he never finished the papers... he can tell you whatever he wants. He again swears that he made a mistake and that we will correct it. He said she really got you on this but it all adds up... I have pictures he gave me of his kids when they were young, the cards they sent him for father's day/birthdays and they have a my space. Even his ex does and he tells me the truth. She aged drastically. She had 2 heart attacks years ago and has a big scar in the middle of her chest. He wanted us to meet but she says she hates me. His mom doesn't speak to me because I use to live with his parents in my own apt. in their house and I made a mistake. He forgives me his mother does not. She is very unforgiving and slandered my name to his ex and his kids. His mother lives on the west coast and recently his dad past away. This is now why I am more than angry. He made his mom a beautiful gift. Something like he made me with our picture in it. It is so beautiful and it took him 3 months to make my gift and now this thing he is making for his mom because his dad past away. I ordered him the paint, glue, beautiful paper for this eulogy he wrote that his daugther read at the funeral. His kids flew out to be with my husbands mother during that time. When his daugther got back her and his ex went up to see him and he gave the daugther another copy to type out on the computer for this gift. She didn't finish it and gave it to her mother to do for him. Yeah because the daugther figured he will call up the mother often to go over 7 pages with her.He gave me the 1st 3 pages when his dad past and I just put it in my computer. Now 4 months later his ex still didn't send him the eulogy back and he called weeks ago a few times telling her send it back. She never did. He says she's busy, her dad is in the hospital and she had hand surgery. I told him give it to me. On Sunday he brought it out and read it to me. But I saw he put white out on a word and wrote over it saying AND THE 18 YEAR BURDEN I PLACED ON MY CHILDREN, WIFE AND MOTHER WILL NEVER BE COMPOUNDED BY ANOTHER So I said wait a minute you meant (your ex) he goes are you crazy I wrote my children underneath...When I left him I scratched off the white out and it did say my children's mother will never be compounded by another. I knew it. My gut feeling When he called me Sunday night he said he stayed on the line for 2 1/2 hours to reach me to make sure I got home ....And I broke down.We didn't get anywhere cause we had to hang up at 11pm. Last night he called and when I still gave him a hard time he goes no one wants to do this eulogy for my dad I will do it myself and hung up... I wasn't sure if he would call back but 20 minutes later he did. He said I just spoke to my mother about what is going on saying that his ex send him back the eulogy with so many errors he was very shocked. He said and my wife wants to do it for me to get it done and everyone (meaning his mom, kids and ex) scorn me when I am the one that cares for him in his hard time. He said my mom usually starts yelling at me when I mention your name (and I knew this already) he goes but I got loud with her and she didn't say anything. His mom is 82 years old now and is getting very weak. What does she care.The damage is done. But why the hell is he writing his sorrows or his guilt in this gift to his mom.I told him I have nothing to do with this eulogy his initial intentions were never to include me in this and he covers it up using my wife, mother and children on the same line...What can I make out of all this. He said Sunday I am very negative. I am intense on this. If he had more time he would fix it.... She (his ex) has the copy of the one he wants .. He made so many different copies and changes of this eulogy. We have this alone time every 3 months and next week we are going to be alone I can't even begin to tell you that I dont even think I can make love to him the way we did now... I feel disgusted. I feel so angry and the pangs of pain in my body are so over powering. I don't want to leave him but knowing he covered that up he can cover up a lot of other things.He told me Sunday night when I said you should have left it and explained to me what you felt and he goes yeah I felt a little guilty. Last night he says I don't give a shit... things happen. So which is it. Then he told me before we had to hang up to change whatever I want in it. I just can't make heads or tails of it but I can say again I don't feel the way I once did.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): The only thing I can say is this.....you only live once and you are missing out on your only life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): my my my, what a story. so your husbands in prison and you get to have alone time with him. he is very lucky you are still there by his side. he has been there along time and you are still waiting for him to get out. he better forget that ex not his kids but that ex and realize who the hell has been sitting here that many years waiting for him to get out of lockup. so i would not cause an uproar of that eulogy. just let his daughter do it. i mean he was married when you two got together. do you expect them to like you of course not. they never will. and you can be sure that your responses on here will be hell. you made a comment judge you. they don't have to you judged yourself. and tell your husband that he better be glad that he has a woman like you. i know know other woman that would do that . you must really love him.
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