A
female
age
30-35,
*ookie93
writes:I dont know why it never works out for me with the guys. Im actually really pretty and cute and funny a simple person i dont want much i forgive easily and i have a good heart.A month ago i met a guy i had a crush on from thr first day i met him. First it was weird there were complications cz he liked my best friend and his best friend liked me. During that time he wasnt so nice to me when he found out i acutally like him and we even made out but he said he used me to make my friend jealous. But i didnt say anything i watched them being together, i suffered and he stayed mean with me but i didnt say anything. Now a week ago he started being nice suddenly and he said he wants to forget about all the things that happened before. But that was after my best friend Stopped talking to him. He said he missed me so much we met up we had fun and great times he helped me with work he was really nice then we made out we kissed i couldnt resist him, and he was being so extremely cute i didnt believe it, we were texting all the time next day i told him i wanna see him and i miss him and that he makes me crazy but he starts acting weird and cold, he makes drama out of nothing and turns everything arround so that he is the angel and me the evil. And he said these so well known words: i dont want a serious relationship now! Well yea then why did u just ask my friend out few weeks ago? I dont know what i did wrong, he is sometimes really jealous and he also said tnat i want evryone and that i dont really care about him, even though he he knows that im falling for him.But now he is being cold really cold and i dont know how to handle it! It kills me because i saw how he can be warm and now its the cold again. I will see him everyday in uni after summer but i dont know what to do now. 1. I hear i should play hard to get, stop texting him, be cold as well and show him i dont care at all, so that he has to chase and gains back interest.2. From others i hear i should be honest with him and tell him what i think. His best friend told me he would only like me if im honest with him. I know i want to fight for him. But i want to do it the right way and not make things worse. Because he is too much of what i have always been dreaming off i dont want to give up on him so easily because i have ti'me so much time. And if he'd only get to know me he would fall for me im sure. But how? How will i gain back his interest after i maybe did the mistake to be too annoying and putting too mucb pressure on him?Please please help !!!!
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female
reader, Cookie93 +, writes (7 May 2011):
Cookie93 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk thaaaaanks everyone! This was really helpful ! I already feel much much better and stronger and i think its time for me to regain back some dignity and not his interest! Even though i want to tell you that he was pissed because he found out i lied to him! I didnt tell him im in a fight with my ex best friend! But i didnt do it because it was none of his business and its was not only because of him but because of many many other reasons, she is a drama queen i took it for long but now im bored of it and i cant handle people like her and she is leaving the country soon anyway!Fact is he has all reason not to trust me this is true and he said its better if we just stay friends because he " is to old for this drama, so back off plz, i gotta go" when i said i dont mind being friends he said oh really i thought u like me and wanna be with me?? Me: yes i do but not like that! He: aha u dont know how to show ur interest! Welll yeaa thats basicly it what happened today, first i was really really upset but already now the same day i feel much better! I may have lied a few times but i was gonna tell him and its not like it was something bad for him! And oh he just texted me again as if nothing happened and asked me if im out with someone because of my status on bbm! I replied once but thats it! :D thaaaaank youuu all!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): I think you know he is a user but you're trying to convince yourself otherwise. Truth is he was never really "warm" that was an act to use you to make your friend jealous, and he even openly admitted. You cannot change this guy. I wouldn't bother playing hard to get either, that just prolongs the whole thing, you do that to find out if a guy IS really interested, but you know he is not. You need to face up to this, and the sooner you do, then you can move on. Id tell him out straight, I'm not interested anymore and leave it at that.In fairness to him he has been honest and said he didn't want a relationship, so be honest with him and tell him you won't be used and you are no longer interested in what he has to offer you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): You've got this all wrong OP, he doesn't really like you at all, you were just a booby prize after your friend broke up with him.
There's nothing you can do to make him that way at all. I'm not going to help you fight for him because he's simply not interested. You see you like him so much that you're ignoring all the glaringly obvious signs that he really doesn't see you as anything more than a bit of fun. He really doesn't like you at all.
1. He liked and dated you friend. There is no way in hell he would have dated her if he liked you more, so in essence he only settled for you after she left because you are easy. Basically from the very start you were second best.
2. He treated you like crap when he found out you liked him, if he liked you, even if he liked you but he liked your friend more, he would not have treated you that way at all. He would have been really nice to you in order to make sure he didn't blow it.
3. He only started acting nice after his thing ended with your friend and he wanted some female company and some pussy, and well he knew you were easy, still waiting there for him, so he went to you to get some action, then when you started talking about feelings and stuff like that he got pissed off at you.
4. Even when you he started getting together he started getting mean and causing drama, basically he doesn't like you at all and was pissed off that he had to settle for you.
5. He said he doesn't want a serious relationship, but you know for a fact what he meant is he doesn't want one with you, he *does not* want to be with you OP.
6. He's being really cold, which means he wants you to stay the hell away from him, because you're acting obsessive and weird.
7. No OP, he won't fall for you, you're living in a crazy dream world because everything points to him not liking you at all, he does not like you.
You should do number 1 and play hard to get. You need to stop being so needy, clingy, obsessive and weird OP. You're living in a crazy fantasy, dreaming of a guy that just doesn't like you at all. As for forgiving easy, you're forgiving far too easily, in fact you're being very stupid about this whole thing OP. He uses as a rebound for his ex when he's feeling low and you don't mind being used, well OP we guys really don't see girls like that as worth anything more than being used, you're far too easy for him.
Not only that but you let this guy be cold, create drama and all that shit and you forgive hm again and do nothing about it, basically you're a doormat OP and again we guys don't see girls like that as serious relationship material we just walk all over them, use them and throw them away.
So yeah if you really want this guy then you'll be cold back, you'll not only play hard to get but you'll completely move on and you'll regain some dignity and pride. Only then will he consider being with you OP, only then will he decide to actually try and win you. I don't think he will at all OP, because he just does not like you at all. He really doesn't and there's nothing you can say or do to change that.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 HiSadly I feel your fighting a lost cause :(this guy is obviously a player, he is not interested in your feelings, he is only interested in what he can get from you, no strings attached. He knows his tugging on your heart strings, keep em mean to keep em keen plot! but you are worth so much more than this. His is a guy you will not change.you say you are a very pretty girl, and have your heart on your sleeve, but trust me being in your situation ( which I have been ) you are only setting yourself up for a huge fall. Take a step back, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself...I am worth so much more than this. .. I am a good person who deserves to be treated with respect, not a toy you can pick up and play with when you feel like it. Why would you waste your time fighting for this guy, when he clearly has no time for you? Be strong, take a deep breath and move on, let this guy go, and you will start to feel more in control of your emotions, and be able to move on with ease.I hope this has helped
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): I wouldn't waste your time... this guy is very immature, moody, and very emotional. Signs and red flags as to how the relationship will be... you'll be full of anxiety, worried, have lack of communication, jealousy issues could arise too. Pursuing this spells disaster. If you want a serious relationship, this guy isn't it. He's playing games. A guy who wants what you're looking for wouldn't involve other women, he'd keep the relations and relationship private and keep matters between both you and him. If a mature man really likes and wants you, he'll let you know up front about his feelings and not make you play cat and mouse. That's bullshit as its arguably emotionally abusive and childish. Best on this.
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