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*onfusing Girl USA
writes: I have been dating a guy for a while and we recently split up. It was my fault, I admit, and he wishes never to speak to me again. I can't stop thinking about him, though. I think I was falling in love with him. I want to respect his wishes and stay away from him but I just want to call and hear his voice one more time. What do I do? Please help a desperate girl.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): ~DEJA VU~I'm going through the same thing...and...I was the one who said "Stay out of my life!".My ex and I had the most disgraceful, malicious and sinful break-up I have ever experienced. OMG!...the way I spoke to her and vice versa is too deplorable to ever repeat...and...while a few of the things I said to her, which were with respect to how her ill-treatment had affected me, substantially all of the other verbal attacks were things that I honest to God did not mean at all...as I was merely trying to return the hateful twisted untrue digs that she was stinging and slicing me with from every possible blindsided angle...OMG!...I cannot emphasize just how grotesque both she and I behaved.Until this moment, I remain mortified that I was even capable of disrespecting myself to that level as I didn't even know I was capable of behaving in that god-forbidden manner until this incident...SO...now that I know I have the capability, I am conscious of it and will be able to prevent it from surfacing again...It was GROSS!At any rate, I have never been one to hold grudges...and to want for my ex to stay out of my life is not what I want...but...apparently I have not risen above the hurt and pain that I feel behind some of the very hurtful acts and words she used with me...and how I feel she her only intent with me was to set out to see how much she could emotionally damage another by way of my heart.I just know that it would not be wise if she and I were in contact now, as I still have hurt, pain and anger...and...I feel she does to so we would invariably start the bs up again...and I can't...I just can't...My ex is not a communicator and that is what's needed between us in order to get pass this...She simply sweeps things under the carpet, simply saying leave it in the past....Me, on the other hand, must address it...clarify it...and come to a mutual commitment to eliminate the negative aspects of what occurred via a conscious awareness of what provoked it and how to exclude its entrance with any future locking of the horns...and then at that point completely let go of it...This way, when a locking of the horns again surface, the katrillion other issues that were swept under the carpet won't come into play as too only escalate the singular issue that stinched the air.I lead a quiet, calm, orderly, peaceful life...Life is what one makes of it and I choose a happy smiley life for all those who I come into contact with as well as myself...and if I'm frowning and heavy hearted, than how can I float in what I live for...happiness and love for all.So with all this said, I need to be at a point where I am no longer in. Negative state with my ex such that when I step to the plate, I will only make her smile and so too I smile.I have no time line...but...since communication is not in her approach, then the time line will be longer than desired.So my advice is try communicating with your ex about the issue...and if your ex does not respond or gets upset again, just step away for a bit and give your ex more time and space.I wish you the best for a beautiful happy loving relationship with your ex.~LESSONS OF THE HEART~
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female
reader, awy6  +, writes (16 December 2010):
i say give it a little time, maybe he just wants his space and doesn't mean cut you out of his life forever. wait some time than confront him about how you feel, the more you bug him and beg for him to talk to you the more distant he will get. good luck! hope all goes well
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female
reader, awy6 +, writes (16 December 2010):
i say give it a little time, maybe he just wants his space and doesn't mean cut you out of his life forever. wait some time than confront him about how you feel, the more you bug him and beg for him to talk to you the more distant he will get. good luck! hope all goes well
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2005): I was in the same situation.. My ex wrote me telling me he hated me, never wanted to see me again, and wanted me out of his life forever. Me and my ex have been through A LOT, and I knew he was just mad and he'd change his mind in a few weeks. The only bad thing is my ex and I have the same friends. I hang out at his house with all our other friends every day. When I told our friends what he said, they told me not to worry about it, and still come over, because everyone else still loved me and wanted me around. So for 3 weeks, 3 whole weeks, I had to see my ex, walk right by him, sit in the same room as him, and not say a word. I'd catch him looking at me all the time, but we never said one word to each other. I knew he just needed time to cool off and calm down, so I gave him that. I didn't talk to him, didn't even try, until he started talking to me. Then one day out of nowhere he asked me to take him to the store, and just started talking to me again. Like we never quit talking. So my advice, just like the 1st one, just give him time. The 1st time we split up, we didn't talk for 3 months, then one day he wrote me, and then said he wrote me on accident, he was trying to write someone else, and we started talking again. He'll come around.
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reader, Kmoney18 +, writes (25 April 2005):
Well, its a hard situation to deal with. The only thing you can really do is let time pass by, I know that sound hard to do, but believe me, even though they wont show it, men get emotional to. My advice would be just to let him cool off for a couple of weeks, and then try again, eventually he will come around, and he will open up even more than he already was.good luck!
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