A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am a 17 year old boy and i have been with my girlfriend for 4 years, i love her but i feel that i am no longer in love with her. Also i feel like she has taken our reletionship for granted as she has made out with my best friend and exposed herself to someone else, after each of these problems i have wanted to end it with her but i also dont want to hurt her because she is my closest friend. I would like to know what would be the best way the end it with her without her being too upset?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): I wonder if she was hitting on his friend why he must take such pains to be diplomatic?
Would you tell the op to be so kind if this were a woman asking and it was a man that was hitting on her friend?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): Make sure your firm in your decision. If she gets upset and cries then you may feel bad and waver on your decision however in the longer term it's much much better that you "put her in her place"
You deserve to be with someone who doesn't cheat on you, so don't feel bad
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): excellent answer TishaLoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Gently, with a kind heart but firm resolve. "I think we have reached the end our romantic relationship. I have enjoyed my time with you but it is now time for us to go our separate ways. I will always care for you and want you to be happy. I know that I am not happy in this relationship due to a lot of things and I think it is best for us to part ways as friendly as possible."
Don't stick around and allow negotiations, that'll just prolong the upset. Be nice and gentle, don't get mad, present it as a problem that is best solved by splitting up. She sounds as though she's not 100% present in the relationship anyway if she's making out with your best friend and flashing someone else. She may be upset and cry at first, but I'll bet she'll feel a sense of relief ultimately.
You will have to reset the relationship back to friends, I don't think trying to stay best friends is a good idea, too messy. It's a sad part of life, but something you can get through. If you are honest, caring and gentle, you won't go too far wrong.
Good luck. Be strong, kind but firm.
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