A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, in a 16 year old girl in my first relationship looking for advice.We've been together 3 months now and I really like him and he worships the ground I walk on, he's 17 going on 18 and he's been in a few previous relationships but only had sex with one person once, I'm still a virgin and he knows that.Last week we were alone in his room and things got heated and only stopped due to me being on my period and I honestly would have carried on despite all my concernsMy biggest issue with sleeping with him is that I have a wonky vagina, like one of the labia things is longer than the other and I know that many of his friends and him have talked about how girls with long labias are 'disgusting' etc.I'm so worried that he'll see that mine isn't 'normal' and be disappointed/put off and won't want to sleep with me?!I'm also really self conscious about how I look and he's never seen me naked because of this and I'm worried he won't like how I look despite the fact he tells me he loves how I look.Please could someone just give me some advice to stop me overthinking about this, thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2016): Do you trust him enough not to tell all his friends about having sex with you and what it was like (and what you were like. ..?)?
If you have any doubt about this, then hold out. Even if he's lovely now, if you split up you need to trust that he won't talk about you.
Nothing is wrong with your body, you are normal because every woman is different. Him and his friends are probably relying on what they've seen on porn too much instead of real women's bodies.
If this guy is genuinely lovely, makes you feel safe and you trust him then you can decide if you are ready for sex. But don't rush into it, if you are uncomfortable with yourself then give yourself more time. You need to realise you're perfectly normal and be confident with yourself otherwise you might not enjoy it or spend the whole experience worrying and feeling inadequate - which wouldnt be nice for you.
If you want to wait a bit longer, then tell him. If he let's you know he's happy to wait until you're ready then you know he's at least a half decent guy.
Don't rush, be happy with yourself, and when you do decide to have sex make sure you're safe! If you don't know how to put a condom on then LEARN because you need to know if he's done it right rather than risk pregnancy or an STD. He has had sex with some one already, so he should also be tested for anything before being with you so he knows he hasn't got anything he could pass on. Even if his first time was wth a girl who said it was her first time too, he can't be 100% certain and it's better to be safe than sorry. If you can't ask him to get tested then you're not ready for sex yet. That conversation is essential and being mature enough for that shows maturity ready for sex.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2016): If he worships the ground you walk on , he worships you too. All of you.So don't worry how your body looks, because he wouldn't mind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2016): Considering your age and lack of knowledge about guys and sex, it's a good thing you're self-conscious about your vagina. You're far from ready for sex, because you believe it's all about what boy's think.
What about what you think? He's not perfect!
You're not ready! You're rushing before your mind is mature enough to accept your own physical imperfections. You're starting off toward womanhood by putting the cart before the horse. Already demeaning your own body. If you're not secure enough about yourself with yourself, how are you ready to give your body to some boy?
You've got to love yourself before you expect someone else to love you. Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your womanhood trying to seek approval and validation from me.
Never happy with who you are, or how you look. Do you read these posts on DC?
You also need to be mentally mature, and prepared to deal with criticism and gossipy boys! They tell each other everything, and if you're worried about how your vagina looks, you are not ready to present it to anybody! Keep it covered!
When you feel good about yourself, feel proud, and confident. Even with your physical imperfections (which most 16 year-olds exaggerate); then you're ready to give-up your virginity and have sex.
You're over-thinking, because you're not mature enough for what you're thinking about.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 January 2016):
 Off course you are worried, its common to worry about these things when they are new to us, but please believe me this is normal. There is no one way a vagina should look, they have lots of different looks. Believe me when I say plenty of girls have that fear, but I promise you are no different to anybody else. Him and his friends talk about long labia as disgusting because they are young and immature, but most off all because they are not experienced and just think its normal banter to have.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 January 2016):
 Oh dear, surgery could sort this but I wouldn't suggest it unless you are grossly abnormal. Everyone is different. If he loves you it won't matter. Only change things if you want to, not to please someone who may not be around next year.
I personally find the fashion for trimmed labia unappealing, unnatural and likely to become last year's fashion. Difficult to replace too if you have had yours snipped off.
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