A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend sent a message to a girl he works with saying:"you and your son are beautiful :D i really like your style outside of work! i can dig your style!have a good night ttyl"i asked him about it, he said he was drinking and didn't even remember he did it until she said something about it to him the next day.also say another message that said, sorry i was a no show tonight, i didn't get out til late and i felt like i invited myself anyway, sorry.we have been together for a year and a half, and he said he's not interested in a girl who has a child, or a smoker she is also younger then me which he's not a fan of - he hasn't acted any different in any other way so, should i be worried? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): His actions say otherwise and I find his words meaningless here... he needs to show you he's not interested. Blame the alcohol. Blame drugs. Blame the goddamn gummy worms at the movie theater for making some idiot talk all the time during the latest sex n the city. F***... whatever, its his decision and thats that... he shouldnt blame anything for his behavior except his own personal choices. He needs to be mature here and tell you if he's wanting to play the field or ready for a little committment. He needs to stop this at once and be clear with you and sadly I think youre the poor soul who will hafta initiate the conversation. Hugs to you. My best on this.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 It sounds like he has some interest on some level. You point out a lot of negatives about her, but it could be that she is interested in him and he is playing the game right back.
Why does he have her number in the first place? I think that should be your primary question to him.
Secondly, if he does dumb things like that when he is drinking, he ought to consider not getting that drunk. There really is no value in getting that trashed at his age.
Either way, at this point I'd be very concerned with your boyfriend's behavior. I think at this point you need to decide if this man has the character and integrity you need and want.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 March 2011):
 Did he tell you about the event he apologized for not attending?
Do you guys live together?
Anyway, I guess I can see why you might be concerned. There's the contact with this girl, could be easily explained, but I dislike that he blames forgetting about it on drinking. A little red flag there.
At this point, all you can do is keep an eye on the situation. You could have a very frank and open discussion with him about your concerns, do you feel able to do so?
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