A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help figuring this guy out and where our relationship or whatever you want to call it is going. We have known each other for years because I used to date his close friend but we never really talked much. About a month ago we started talking/hanging out and I really like him. The problems with this whole thing - my brother that I'm really close with hates him for various reasons that are kind of stupid, one being because he says he's too "bro" and way too into hanging out with the guys. It does kind of annoy me that he always seems to be doing something with the guys, but I think its kind of because he got cheated on and dumped a few years ago and was really hurt. He hasn't had a girlfriend since. I don't know if he's afraid or he just would rather hookup with no attachments. He texts me all the time and acts like he likes me but I don't know if its because he's just bored or he actually likes me enough to want me as a girlfriend. His friend/my ex is angry we are seeing each other and doesn't want to be friends with him any more. He says he doesn't care about that but they have been friends since childhood. My brother doesn't like me hanging out with him because he thinks that it was crappy of him to hang out with me when his friend used to date me. He says he didn't follow the "guy code" so he's a rotten person. Also, I'm going to be moving an hour away from where we live soon. So with all these negatives does it seem like we have a chance to officially date or no? He knows I like him, I just don't know if he knows how much. I don't want to push too hard and scare him but I don't want to just be a text buddy, occasional hookup thing either. Advice?
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 If you don't want to be just a text buddy, then ask him out. I am not sure why you've waited this long anyway. As far as this person and that person not wanting you to be together...are you going to listen to what other people say when it comes to deciding everything in your life? If the two of you aren't meant to be, the two of you aren't meant to be and you'll figure it out. I personally think some of the excuses like "he's too bro" is pretty lame anyway. So, he hangs out with the guys. Who cares? All of the negatives you mention here are other peoples' hang-ups, not necessarily negatives for you.
As for the distance...an hour is not that much of a distance if you find you like the guy and want to date him. You said you text him all the time anyway. We drive an hour every weekend to go into the city anyway, so it's not a big deal. Who cares about who used to date who and all the other stuff. Ask the guy out and see what he says.
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