A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I feel neglected and hurt and I have lost all my self confidence. My husnd who is 10 years yournger than me ( married 20 years) has been a good provider and our life together has had its ups and downs just like any othr marriage.But hrough out the years there has been this one partcular woman - she was the wife of a business associate - who I htought he had too much of an interest in. It caused a number of arguments nad fights between us - me accusing him denying. One of his work coleagues even jokingly suggested that he might be the father of her children.Her husband has since passed on and she is a young pretty woman in her 30s. anyway my husband was very involved in the funeral and after understandably but I still wasn't comfortable. Now he does business wiht her and one day when I was calling his cellphone she answered. That made me more uncomfortable.I know that she has all the physical qualities that my husband requires and he has said on more than one occasion that she is pretty. Added to this is the fact that he did mention to me that in the looks departmetn I was just passable. Now I'm 50 and I feel like a used up old rag. I can't compete with this woman and I believe he is in love with her. He says no but he can't even look at me when she comes up in discussion. Wel stupid me I went and raised the conversation and said how I felt and he said to me that if he wanted her he could have had her years ago. Wait does that mean that she has feelings for him too. I may be crazy but I have been having these funny feelings for about 10 years. Now I feel that maybe I was right and if so how so I go on now that he has direct dealing with her.I'm going crazy here but I also feel so stupid. When we have sex I feel so embarrassed for myself that I try not to let him see too much of me. I feel ugly and stupid and that this is the end of my life. Maybe the best thing would be if I got out of everybody's way and let them enjoy their life - after all they are still young and they would make a better suited couple.Just trying to do whats right for everybody.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone for the insight - while I know all this I can't help but feel like I've wasted 10 years of my life living a lie. I'm tired actually of trying to make this man love me and treat me right - if I hve to tk a backseat its better that he goes. Just an update - I went to the hairdresser yesterday and had my hair done - when I got home he was dressed to go out - he gave me some lame excuse about having to go do some business - at 8:00 p.m. come on - he was a bit overdressed for that. Anyway some friends popped by so he couldn't go. Lo and behold at 6:03 this morning his phone is ringing - who is it - her. I don't think I am imagining this and I am trying to regain my self confidence. I have signed on wiht a gym - start next week and some girlfriends are taking me out on Sat because tomorrow is my birthday.P.S. The reason I don't have a social life of my own is because he gets very angry when I go out by myself. So I tried to keep the peace. Look where that's gotten me.PLease keep the advice coming I need all the help
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): I think this is a lot more about how bad you feel about yourself rather than him and her. I think you definitely need to sort your confidence out, it's not doing you any favours Hun, I know it's hard, it's very easy to feel insecure in a world where there are so many pretty girls thrusted in our faces by the media, but you have your good points. There is only 1 you and your husband loves you, just focus on your good points and try to build up your confidence Hun.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay so yesterday my hsband and I were in his van going to do some business - she called- usually I'm not with him at thast time of day so she probably thought it was safe - anyway turns out she was asking him to pay someone some money for her - he agreed and went immediately to do it - of course this made me mad since i was on my lunch hour - well long story shorti got backlate got chewed out by the boss. Last night when I tried to express how unconfortable I was with the situation he nearly bit my head off I told him that this was not the first time he had gone out of his way to help her and that I was uncomfortable with how close they were and the demands she could put on him - I thought that that was my privilege alone - add to that the fact that the woman seems to avoid talking to me - well he shot back "she syas its you who doesnt want to speak to her"Someone tell me if I'm crazy but has my husband been discussing me with this woman behind my back? WHoa I just got shoveled to the bottom of hte pile.What do you think aunts?
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