A
female
age
26-29,
*eavannagirl
writes:Im 16 years old and I really hate my mother. Me and her constantly argue and she makes me feel like shit. I am the baby of the family and have triplet girl sisters who are 24 and a brother thats 36. My parents are both 57. Me and my mother really don't get along. Like i hate her..I know she's my mother and I should love her but I can't stand anything about her. She pushes me away and plays favorite and babies one of my triplet sisters..the other two sisters ad me and my brother are treated like crap. They ignore her but i simply can't stand to let someone tell me things..so i have a strong attitude and argue back...she is a grown woman i can't see why she could argue with me. She fights with me like if we were children. she's very cheap with me as well she never wants to give me anything..even if i ask her for like $3. Many times she has called me "stupid little bitch" she always comments on my body saying i should run more or not eat something..when she's an overweight woman. She never wants to share...she expects me and my sisters to buy our own toothpaste and toilet paper. the only time she is every really nice is if you do what she says..if you don't she throws you shit basically saying "fuck you" without really saying. She even treats my dad like shit and belittles him. Were a mexican american family so its odd to not be so connected. She does have a past of being diagnosed with depression for 4 years when i was starting fourth grade..she was always such a kind admirable mother and i loved her but ever since she got sick like i couldn't stand her.. i couldn't stand seeing the women i look up to, being at her lowest and id give her a hard time and became angry to see her that way.. we tried therapy when i was smaller for the whole family but after a week we never continued to go. My mother is even taking pills the rest of her life for depression. I think her doctor even diagnosed her for being bipolar. my question is how do i cope with this? I can't go a day without arguing with her. I hate her with a passion ever since she got better from having depression it feels like this new lady took my old moms place. She completely changed from the person she used to be. My mom now is such a cruel lady. she puts me down. I can't stand her. I hate that I don't like her. I wish it was me but i have so much hatred of how she is as a person that I get upset with my ownself
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): I understand completely understand where youre coming from except my mom is too busy snorting pills and making it seem like its every elses fault. You dont have to do it but the easiest way in my opinion is to look into emancipating yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): G's girl..thank you so much for your insight. From what you have said yesss its all true and i needed that rude awakening but the thing is she is not depressed anymore and neither has bipolar but the medicines are to prevent from going into that stat a..and she is simply logical now and in the best condition she's ever been..according to her. My problem is that the lady who stands before me will never be the mother she used to be. She is a cruel lady and i don't see why I should forgive her for the things she has done..i don't blame her for ever getting sick but you know theres a right way to behave and she plays out this sweet lady role in public with friends and family but when it comes to home its always me. This morning she didn't even want to drive me to school she's like ugh I'm tired f it have your sister...like she doesn't want to be a parent to me. She always wants something in return and I'm not like that at all.. were complete opposites and we clash..she treats me like a elementary school enemy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): well there's alot of things that can be done, get emancipated, move out... Thats what I did... (my mom did the same to me and more she started drinking and abusing me) all because I wouldnt listen to her and do everything she wanted me to do! You could even maybe talk to her and tell her how your feeling and see if that helps at all...
good luck (:
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A
female
reader, G's_Girl  +, writes (30 May 2012):
 Hi Geavannagirl,I'm sorry that at 16 years old, you have the burden of having a mother who is not well. There was one ray of light in everything you shared:Your mother used to be a kind, admirable mother and you loved her... until she got sick. The fact that she got diagnosed as bipolar and suffers from depression, is not her fault. She is on medication as you say for the rest of her life, and all I can say is - do you remember how it used to be? The woman she used to be? The mother she was to you, before she got ill? Don't you miss that? Imagine how it must be for her - she is not only unwell, but her daughter turned against her, when she needs you most?You ask how do you cope with this? Well, the week that your whole family attended therapy when you were younger, why did that stop? Was it a family decision, or only one individual? perhaps that is something that you could investigate again.You loved her and held her in high esteem, but when she got sick you must have felt scared, and rejected the changes. You didn't want to see her low and it made you angry. Already then you needed to discuss this, and find coping strategies. In the meantime, realise that her behavious is not by choice - the name calling, the favouritism, etc. You can only change YOU, and your interactions with her. Be a better daughter, try and understand where she is coming from, research both bipolar and depression on the net, and see if you can help her, instead of rejecting her. Your feelings are valid, what you have experienced is very hard, and you need a professional to help you review the past, and go into the future with a better strategy, for your own peace of mind, and happiness.Best Wishes.
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