A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have been having dreams about my ex from college. He was my 1st proper boyfriend at the age of 16-18.I loved him so much, and the only reason we split up was because he moved away to study. I didn't want to hold him back. He is 3 years older. I'm now 27.I haven't seen him really since we split almost 10 years ago, but i often ask mutual friends about him, think about him, and on the very odd occasion that we catch each other's eye, I can see in in him that he still has feelings for me. I haven't actually seen him for about 4 years as i moved away.It's tearing me apart, i love him, i have a tape of his voice that i listen to over and over.What should i do? Why do I still feel like this so stongly after nearly 10 years?I feel like my heart is breaking again for him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2005): Hi
I'm also in love with my former lover and I found out that many people are going through the same situation... and many of them have had happy endings...
I guess it could be worthwhile for you to read about Nancy Kalish's research on rekindling old flames. It gave me some insight.
http://www.lostlovers.com/
There is also a Grace Gabe's post about the subject that I found very interesting to read. http://cms.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19930901-000027.html
By the way, I totally agree with what "pops" said. If you're willing to try your chance, just do something about it.
Best wishes!
Me
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (27 July 2005):
You dont sound like you love him, you sound obsessed!
Throw away the tapes of his voice and all other reminders of him.
He has most probably moved on with his life and has left your relationship in the past.
Go out more and meet new people, its not healthy to live in the past.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (24 July 2005):
At 27 you have to ask us what to do? Please ! Call the guy. How is he suppose to know you still love him if you don't tell him! If he's married, or involved with someone he loves, you will find out. In the meanwhile, you are killing yourself pining for a man who just maybe could be yours again for the asking. Both of you will have to talk about where you are going to live if you intend to get back together again. But that is what mature people do. They talk about their respective careers, future prospects, and goals, and then try to accomodate each other. pops
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