A
female
age
30-35,
*yDaysOnceRevolvedAroundYou
writes:I'll try and get straight to the point but it's a long story, lol. I have been dating a guy that's ten years older than me for about a month and a half on and off.. simply because he has issues with my age, which don't get me wrong.. I do understand. I absolutely adore him and he apparently adores me too. But I'm a sixth former and obviously there is various banter going around for him because I'm younger, there's also the fact he lives fourty mins away on the train.. which I can deal with, but is apparently becoming an issue for him. It kind of sounds like he doesn't want to be with me but he sent this..Him:aaaaaaarggghhlisten i just DONT KNOW!!!its like 1 minute im madly crazily in love with u.. then sometimes im like "whoa" n it feels abit intense too soon??1 minute im thinking about how amazing you are... and cute and sexy and lovely and such a nice personthen im thinking about the cons and why it wudnt work outits like im not just giving u mixed signals.... i AM actually mixed up about itand im so sorry cuz i cant control it... its f*cking my head up too ya know.... ur all i can think aboutI don't know what to do, I'm such a mess.. What shall I do? :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 A ten year age gap is not bad at 27 and 37
A ten year age gap at 17 and 27 is HUGE.
I think it's time to accept that it's not going to work out for now.
maybe later on it can resume...
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (23 September 2011):
 I'm not sure you really do understand. He's confused because he knows he shouldn't be dating a 16/17 year old. When you're the younger one in a relationship it doesn't seem like a big deal, but think of how it would be to date someone three or four years younger than you. You're in a very different place than you were at 13, right? At your age, even a small difference like that would be awkward. As people get older, a significant difference in age doesn't matter as much because they've had more time to mature and experience life.
It's also a bit soon for him to say he's 'madly crazily in love', isn't it? It's strange that he's not even able to make up his mind about what he wants, but he's already saying he's in love with you. It hasn't even been two months yet, and you're both still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. This period is usually intense, and it seems to me he's confusing it for love. To be perfectly honest, he sounds a bit immature for a 27 year old.
It would be different if your ages were 27 and 37, but at 16 or 17 you haven't had enough experience or time to mature in order to carry on a proper relationship with a man that's near 30. You're both in very different places in life, and he's fully aware of it. I imagine this is what he's talking about when he says he thinks of the cons that come with dating you.
I know you like him, but it doesn't seem this relationship will work out. He's torn for several reasons and it doesn't look like he'll figure out what he really wants any time soon. I suggest finding someone closer to your age to date, someone that's on the same wavelength as you and won't have an issue with your age.
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