| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 19, and am in a serious relationship with a someone who I love dearly, and have been with on and off for about 5 years. However, lately I have been having feelings for someone I work with and I'm really tempted to do something about it, just to get it out of my system. The fact of the matter is, this isn't the first time I have felt like this and seen it through. I don't doubt that my relationship with my boyfriend is strong but feeling like this really gets to me and I always want to give in to it just to get over the agony of liking someone else. In times past he has found out and we have quickly gotten past it, but what worries me is whether I do these things just to try and make myself feel better. Also, those two times before it has made my relationship stronger. I hate it when I meet someone else I like, but the agony of it always provokes me to do something I shouldn't. What's wrong with me? How can I ignore these feelings?
View related questions:
I work with Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Withnail700  +, writes (3 July 2006):
 'Tempted by the greener grass' is an infuriating saying. I hate it and feel that it can never be applied to human relationships. We're not goats! I personally feel that if we find ourselves in a truly loving and complete relationship, then we wouldn't be looking elsewhere in the first place. People who find true love usually seem to say the same thing - that they stopped looking, stopped craving the need to flirt, stopped 'advertising' as it were. But it's hard - I've been in exactly the same position for two years now. I thought I loved her, but found myself seeing two other women behind her back. How can that be right? The answer is that it isn't. But don't feel bad. It's just part of being human. When you find the guy you're meant to be with you'll know it - and you won't feel the need to seek the attention of others.
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (2 July 2006):
 You need to identify what it is that your boyfriend isnt doing for you. YOu say its a strong relationship, but there clearly seems to be something missing, as this is why you are seeking outside attentions. do you really think that your relationship is strong enough for you to go cheat and get away with it and that your man if he finds out will take you back ? No i doubt that very much.. you need to address why it is that you feel this way... maybe you want to play the field a bit and in your heart you know your not ready to settle down.. if this is the case all that will happen is that you will go out cheat get it out your system or so you think until the next time... you have to decide if you really want to be with your current bf... im getting the feeling that you dont... there is something missing hence the want for someone else... you either sit and talk to your bf about this or you walk away. Its up to you.. you cant have both, think carefully, if you go and cheat, the chances are you wont have the relationship that you currently have as all the trust will be gone. So are you happy enough to stay with you boyfriend for all time and not to cheat ? If the answer is no then somehow or other you will have to end it, as its not fair on him. You at least need to tell him how you are feeling... no one deserves to be cheated on.. if it were the other way around how would you be feeling ? so address what it is thats missing in your relationship and decide whether you want to stick at it or go out and find someone new. You cant have both... but remember the grass is not always greener. Think about what you really want... and if it is your boyfriend then cheating will only drive a wedge between you, so maybe try and find out what it is that you actually want. Craving someone else shouldnt happen if you are truly happy in your relationship, if your happy and love him then new people you meet would no turn your head, yes we all think thats guys are cute etc, but if we love and respect our partners we dont go and cheat.. so have that chat with your man and see how things pan, but do it before you go and cheat and regret it.
Take care x
...............................
A
female
reader, uniquebeauty4life +, writes (2 July 2006):
 I understand perfectly well your suituation. I myself i'm in the same position but i have never followed through on the only chance i had because after the guy left, i got to thinking, does this guy want me or my body? Always think about that. It's no use if the guy is going to use and leave you. Right now, i've got broken things off with my boyfriend because i am attracted to someone whom i have a sneaky feeling will never feel the same and this is affecting my relationship so i broke things off rather than hurting him because i hurt. Try and talk to your man, suggest some serious changes, get a new job to get temptation out of the way and everytime you thing you are getting close to someone, just try and focus on what you think are their bad qualities and why you love your boyfriend so much.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2006): I think you may have some self control issues and should seek counciling. If everyone everywhere did not act on this there would not be so many divorces.Good luck!
...............................
|
