A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello and good day.This guy I know for many years, hugs me sideways, and rest the side of his face on top of my head.I had my hand around his waist and his hands was around my shoulder.Then when I was about to walk off, he got a hold of my upper arm to say something to me.We were in the mids of friends at his home. His wife was there also. It was a goodbye hug. He was leaving our city for vacation. Sometimes when he talks to me, he holds me upper ARM with a kneading motion of his fingers.A few nights before at a meeting, I went up to him to give information about something.he stood about a feet away. Standing facing face to face. He started deep at my eyes notblinking, no talking, nor showing any facial expression for ant 16 seconds. Was very uncomfortable.He rarely interacts with me though. Seems to treat me with indifference. What does these body language reveal?Thank You.HERE IS MORE BACKGROUND INFO:We live in the Caribbean. Our culture in how we interact with people is about the same asin North America. The man is in some position of authority (not a workplace), asa group director. We are of the same religious beliefs (Christian). There is not legalaction between us. I think of him as a long time acquaintance. When people mistaken usas a couple, he gets chopping in his reply and then eventually says "I am his sister".His wife and I are good friends. He use to be nice to me and my family when we first met.Then without warning, he suddenly became cold, yet straining to be courteous towards me.He had the attitude of ignoring me and not letting our mutual friends see his harsh behavior.If I am happy and laughing with them and he happens to be around, he looks annoyedand gets very silent. If someone says something rude to me or something to make a joke about me,he gets happy and talkative about what is being said. He gets sarcastic. But he is the opposite if Iam with him alone. When I am talking he, acts like he wants me to finish quickly. and he gets this high blink rateif he has to listen to me and look at me while talking. then on the opposite side, he may stare at me in closeproximity while I am talking and not blink for a while. He has a habit of touching my upper arm from behind a lot.and also to put his hand on my head (in an 'ata boy' motion). Not trying to read too much into it, but becausewe are a part of a large group, his behavior stands out more as very odd. He is consistent in how he treats our other friends,but acts out of place towards me. I have not had and argument or did something wrong towards him to cause this.I treated him just the same as anyone else. When he use to first offer to help me with a ride home or any small matter, I acceptedonly when I needed to. I never accepted when it was not necessary. There were times when he would suddenly stand behind me,or pop up in front of me with his back turned, almost stepping on my toes. He has not done that in recent years though. Just suddenniceness again. He has made close friendships all my friends, and some of them seem to turn against me. I have known him for 6 years.a few weeks before the hug, he gave be a chilling stare as I was coming around the corner to his house (we had a meeting together that day with is wife.) He looked at me with complete blank face death stare. his eyes was so still, I did not know what to make of it.Then after we started talking as we waited on his wife to gt home, he got irritated as I was explaining something that he did not agree with,then reluctantly accepted it, and turned his body position away from me and put his head down.When we started the meeting after his wife came, and i was making my comments, he had his head slanted down the whole time, and forced tolook up at me (his head still tilted and his eyes glaring up). I know I am describing this in full details, but it is a consistent habit from him that I have come to know by now. No one else in the group acts this way towards me. Now that he is away, he calls everyone to see how they are doing, except for me. I just communicate with his wife. Any suggestion that use to be made from other group members for me to be apart of a group activity, he would ignore it.So it is strange that he wanted to hug me, because I was leaving his house at the moment this happened; much less to lay his head on top of mine.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 So how long have you had this huge crush on the guy?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2013): This guy sounds weird. It sounds like he is dealing with some sort of frustration and inner turmoil but I am not sure if it is about you or about something else and he is taking it out on you. He is definitely being very condescending towards you. Based on the "death" stare he gives you that freaks you out, just throwing this out as a precaution. The guy might be a sociopath/psychopath and is kind of eyeing you out for whatever reason. Maybe you look like and/or act like his source of frustration. My advice to you is stop being so nice to him. Guys like that take advantage of people who appear to be weak. He may perceive weakness in you and therefore may be trying to intimidate you and single you out. The best way to get it to stop is to stand up to him and not allow him to intimidate you any more. Next time he gives you a death stare, give him a death stare right back, your best psycho face. Don't act scared, he's feeding off of that. Be stern, strong and indifferent toward him. And do not allow him to do anything toward you even if he is trying to be sweet. Don't let him touch you anymore. Just keep your distance from him. This guy sounds weird. Be careful.
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