A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have gone through emotional and severe psychological abuse from this guy who manipulates me with court orders and officers who mitigates me using other women, who abandoned me and uses every weapon to push me to the edge of anguish. He disappears and appears to see his son whenever he feels it's appropriate for himself. I shunned him out of my home and blurted out all the anger I felt! Tell me somebody, tell me what can I do to protect myself from this narcissist who thinks he can manipulate me, my time and my emotions. Who instills fear in court? Isn't making someone fear, emotional abuse? Tell me somebody please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): Dear Broken Spirit,
You are not as lost as you think you are, just when we as human beings think there is no more we can take we some how find the courage to do the immpossiable.
You have just started your journey. The reason the courts laughed at you love was because you danced like a fool. He pulled all the strings. Now you see how the game is played. He plays his on your reaction.
So in a good game of chess you keep your eye on the prize and your moves secret.
A lawyer could never have helped at all.. not with him.
Your first move now is to get counseling for you and your child..... never miss an appointment! call around for support groups in your area Local womens shelter ,(start to get the numbers at your local salvation army) or phone books may have them listed.
you are calling them to leave and supply paper trails and eveidence... going and getting help through their groups shows how desperite you are to get help for your child and you. BTW you sound like you need the support so please use it.
the next thing you must wrap your brain around is this---HE IS THE FATHER... no matter how shitty of an individuale he still has rights to act like a father. So get that grip now.. use it to your advantage.
you say he is in and out of your life... that means you don't have a current address right?? NOOOO WAY to tell him you moved.... how sad. YOU LOST your phone right before the move... had no way to reach him.... SOOOOOOOO sorry about that...
I hope you get what im putting down for you dear...
Make your life less accessable to him... move to the point of distance 3-4 hours away (you had to move you needed to make more money, what a good mom you are.) and start using the court system to your advantage.
Don't ever underestimate him..you have to get ahead of him and by writing here you are... so now you must stay ahead... go to the point of sending a certified letter to his old address.. if any questions asked he never supplied you with his new address how were you to know. This is the way you must now think...
you now need to be the strong one... he has beatin you beyond belief now is the time for you to quit licking your wounds and kick his ass. Stand up for the strong woman that you are, stand up for the child you have, stand up for every mark, every hurt word, every tear! Don't you dare back down..
they say that when you forgive someone your over it..I say you forgive when your ready to be over it, there is no point in trying to make your self do something your brain and heart is not ready to do. Watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman then tell me about forgivness.
I hope you get the strenth and the willpower to put this monster as far away from you as you can.
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did but I was wasting my time, or better yet, she wasted my time and money. I already went through that. I had to advocate for myself and the judge would look at me like I'm a crazy person. Would talk over me and not even take me, or my evidence into consideration. I would give evidence to that lawyer and all she did was look at them right off my hand. I even had to tell her to go ahead and show the judge. You can't imagine how many times I trembled and cried (during court hearings) for him not to take my child. He would sit back and get satisfied from viewing my "show". All for not to show up, I would give into him to see if he would change, I begged for his forgiveness if i ever did something wrong. I even moved to a new apartment, already forgiving him to see if he would come back eventhough he kicked me and my son out, even when he walked out afterwards. He would not sympathize for my pain, not even when I'm the mother of his son, he disrespected me, mocked me and humiliated in front of the other woman. I had my hands open for him, but all he did was slap them down with the cruelest intentions. Still I hurt, but I hurt in anger, I am not the same woman I was before. Now all I feel is remorse against him, this flaming anger that just repulses him instead of accepting him like I did before. I've begun to hate him. Tell me somebody, I want to relieve myself from this. Its been four long years....will this ever end? What hopes do I have? Should I have any? The waters have been turbulant for too many years. I've tried forgivenss but all I've gotten is getting walked over, stomped. I can't let this happen any longer. Now I have to be as if i'm looking over my shoulders. Wondering what would happen next, which cop would come knocking on my door, wondering if he's in court getting a court order. I CAN'T I cant take this anymore, he needs to stop let me breathe lord jesus please I can't live like this any more!!!!!
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A
female
reader, b.rye +, writes (18 April 2009):
 Get a lawyer - a good lawyer.
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