A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how could i ever forget my boy friend easily?He said that he loved me, but he can't be married to me, because his family don't accept me because my caste didn't match with him.. tell me how my caste is my mistake?i loved him unconditionaly with out any terms and conditions. Is it my mistake?What can I do now that my heart has been broken two time for the same reason.. i gave myself second chance to pass the exam of love but i failed it again... why all these things happening to me?PLease tell me what can i do now?I know that i love him a lot.. . Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): HiYou are young and probably think that this guy is the best thing that will ever happen to you and that you will not find a better guy. I thought the same when the gf i was with at the university broke up with me. I was in pieces and thought life is unbearable to carry on without her. It took me two years to get over the feeling. Then i met the girl who is my current wife of 8 years. I fell in love and life became wonderful again. You do get second chances in life :). Just be careful next time and try to find the right guy. Since you are from India, you may want to consider your family and boys family before settling on someone. Best to not fall for someone wrong. Take your time, dont rush.Hope this helps
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 It's not your fault for living in the wrong place, in a caste-dominated system- but it's your fault ( or at least your responsibility ) that you chose to disregard that when chosing a partner.
If you are really from Nepal, like your flag says, there is not much you can do- except emigrating, I guess.
If you were in India, there caste still exists somewhere in daily life, but it's been declared against the Constitution since 1950, so if you were there you could tell your man, hey, you've got to fight for me, fight for your life, don't worry, the law is on our side, against t your family 's side.
But in Nepal, caste system is not only still legal, but approved and enforced. People from lower castes DO have less access to education, career, etc, even restricted access to some public places. Kids from intercaste marriages are frown upon and have a difficult life, socially speaking. I can understand that no man would put himself against his family, friends, community, society, tradition and religion - for love. Unluckily in your country marriage is not about love.
I find surprising, very surprising, that you actually ignored, or chose to ignore that, when you accepted a relationship with two boys from an higher caste . Maybe they have taken advantage of your feelings, they told you lies, - but I think they knew since the beginning it wasn't meant to be.
By now, you should know it too, - and you should be very very careful to get involved only with suitable guys, to avoid needless heartbreak.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): if they truely love you then they would do all they can to be with you ,even if its leaving that country to marry you in another were caste systems are irrelevant
and look in the caste you are in to avoid further heart ache
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