A
female
age
30-35,
*weetuffy23
writes:What do I do?I'm going through a serious case about my teacher and I.First off we were dating.I'm 16 and he is 37.I knew it was wrong from the begining but because of having to see him daily and having him being flirty i gave in to him.There were several times when i wanted out but because he was depressed about his marital problems I couldnt just leave him hanging.When i would avoid him he would say that i have anger and frustration towards him.Sometimes I went for counseling and i was suggested to cut him off.But everytime i would he would end up calling me and if i didnt answer he would leave voice messages.It was very hard for me not to care about him and to leave my feelings alone.We spoke about everything from school to sex.And we even kiss on christmas break.That kiss affected me emotionally because it made me fall even deeper than i already was.At that point i couldnt let him go.But suddenly he started avoiding me,He then said him and his wife resolved their problems.I was hurt,I felt used.I never wanted our relationship to go this far,i had respect for his wife children and myself.I suggested he fix his problems throughout the whole thing but he said he couldnt stand her.And now after we kissed he decided to leave me i felt hurt.I needed venting quickly and the only one available was my history teacher.Big mistake he reported it.I denied everything that happened case was closed.Then valentines day i sent him some items ,i was mad at my friend so she reported it to another adult.Case opened back up but this time i was being accused of harassung this man.So i confessed the whole relationship.Now i dont know if i should continue with the prosecution.I feel guilty he told me he doesnt want to go to jail.I want to transfer schools and just leave everything alone.Is it too late?I gave some evdience already but can i refuse to testify against him?Will i feel better if i let this go and run away from the problem?I dont know what to do......
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christmas, depressed, flirt, my teacher Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): He still flirts with students? Something doesn't ring true about this.
How is he still working at the school if he's bring investigated for liasing with a pupil? How is he allowed near you to tell you anything ?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Neighbours isn't just set in Australia.Its made there too.Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Hi in the uk we watch this telly show called neighbours! You wouldnt have heard of it because, they dont show it in the states but its set in aussie! (google it) and right know theres a storyline of a simalar situation but in this storyline the teacher even though he fell for the girl and he shouldnt! He is still prepared to do the decent thing in the end and take full responsibility - the girl made a mistake and fell in love. Shes young, she will move on but he knew better and is taking the consquences! Thats what your teacher should do! if he cant do that then and you have lost all credibility then i say you shoudl definatly stand up in court and tell the truth! He will do this to other girls if you dont and one day it could be a 100% worse for a different girl in a different situation. When i was at school nothing like that ever happened. I cant believe a teacher is risking his job! Theres nothing wrong with you, he wanted you and as soon as he proved he could get you with that one kiss! It scared him so much that he says things are better at home which they are probarly not! Know that all this is going on then I dont see things being peachy for him anyways. He deserves everything thats coming to him! Tell the truth, go to collage and start fresh and use this as a learning experience to know never to do that again! I am sure you wont! I too have done things I shouldnt..Hey havent we all lol. Thats life! Dont beat yourself up about it. Theres worse people than you and i am not being mean but its true! I have problems of my own but it helps me to read storys like yours and give my advice! For example what your going through showed me that I am lucky! If you look at someones else questions then I am sure you would think the same. Good Luck. x
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female
reader, sweetuffy23 +, writes (16 April 2008):
sweetuffy23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI go to a public school in new jersey.The school is blaming me because he's in charge of most of the technical stuff, all events.and they veiw him as a helpful aspect to the school,so they do have favortism towards him.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Hi,
where on earth do you go to school? I can only think that some narrow minded religious school would accuse a young girl of being responsible for leading a man on - going back to the teachings of Martin Luther who believed women were the great seducers of innocent menfolk.
This is crazy, I am sure you are reading more into it. O.K I accept that you have lost your previously prestigious postion in the school ranks, that is to be expected. But actually being blamed for leading him on sounds ridiculous.
As an ex teacher I could never envisage a situation where a student would be viewed in the wrong for something like this. You are easily corruptible, he should know better and he is the one put in the position of trust.
I suggest you have a chat to a teacher that you trust, express your concerns for your future to them.
Something is not right about this.
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A
female
reader, sweetuffy23 +, writes (16 April 2008):
sweetuffy23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thanked you guys for the advice but i'm still concerned,I initiated this relationship by writing a letter last year.But after realizing it was a terrible mistake i apologized the beinging of this year.While apologizing i didnt expect him to confess he likes me.So i started avoiding him.It made him feel terrible thats why i gave in.I feel its my fault for not being mature enough to stop this before it went any further.Somehow i still feel this is a good guy.He just has an issue with young temptation.He still flirts with students through this investigation.And he says that he never said he loved me and that i shouldnt trust older men because they just want one thing.I question,"including you" and he said yea i guess you can say i took advantage of you.But yet he doesnt want to lose my respect?He hurt me so bad.I lost credibilty due to this.And i'm not blaming him only but i blame myself too.I cant doing any activities in the school,and i am going to college after next year.What will i have for my college application,i wont have recommendations because teachers know about this.If i keep my mouth shut then i still would be the leader of the school,the administrative manager of the band,have everybodies respect and been in the parade.I would of had a great recommendations from him for college and i would of had a great friend with benefits on the side.I lost everything.And i feel it is my fault...Obviously it is if he is still doing what he does while im being punished....life is hell for me...Did i take advantage of him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Awwww, this this must be an awful, heartbreaking situation for you! I can't believe this teacher just took advantage of you, but I suppose it's the reality of older men! I've known many perverts in my time (oldest being 57) but this teacher of yours has gone well beyond the line!
Listen, he needs to get what he deserves! Please continue the prosecution, otherwise (despite losing his reputation at the school) He could get a job at a different school and do the same to another pupil. Surely you want to prevent that happening to another innocent girl? Don't give into his pleads no matter what, the damage is done - and the investigation shouldn't close until Justice has been done!
Good luck hun!
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): I have to agree with Cindy, and I think although you have feelings for this man right now, you are going to come to see this situation and this guy very differently when you are older!
I think if he had put your well-being before himself, he would never have allowed your relationship to develop so far. Some men do look to younger, less emotionally mature women when they have marital or relationship problems and it sounds like you were this person for him.
I am not sure about whether or not you can refuse to give evidence, but I do know that you can no longer stop him from being prosecuted - it has gone too far.
I think you need to think carefully here, Of course he doesn't want to go to jail, so there is a chance he could say you made the whole thing up and that you harassed him. If he can get away with telling his wife, the authorities and your school that it is all in your head, then he will. It's not very fair if you are made out to be a liar.
You can't run away from your problems, they always catch up with you sooner or later, so stick with it, and they will sort themselves out. You are the victim in all this, your teacher abused your trust and abused his position. Hopefully you can confide in a friend or family? Stay strong and take each day as it comes, and you will get through it and be able to put it in to your past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Hey! Do not let people tell you what you have to do. You know you want to report him and the case is already open. You need to go along with the investigation. Don't let this jerk manipulate you anymore. Don't be a fool sweetie. You have to KNOW what you want in life and the only important thing in life is what you feel not what other people tell you to do. You know he did you wrong, so fight for your rights and never look back. What about the pain he caused you? Let him pay. His old enough to know he took advantage of you. Old men are like that they WILL ALWAYS TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. ALWAYS.
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female
reader, Cindy303 +, writes (15 April 2008):
 I am looking at your age, and remembering what it was like for me at 16. Looking at the male teachers I had, and there were a few cute ones, but that is just what young girls tend to think sometimes. This teacher is a grown, married man and YOUR TEACHER. He is not your boyfriend and he had no right to lead onto anything else. Kissing you was not only wrong, but he crossed the line and should lose his job for it and not be permitted to teach children again. You are young and this will be one of those situations that you will look back on years to come and understand it should have never happened.
Running away from it wont help and it wont fix the problem. This teacher needs to be stopped. I dont know that jail is the answer for kissing, but he needs to be removed from the school district.
I hope this all ends soon for you. Best Wishes, Cindy
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (14 April 2008):
Hi,
running away from the problem will solve nothing.
I doubt in any event that would be the end of the matter anyway as they would only assume that he has intimidated you to keep you quiet.
Don't worry, it will all be over soon and this sad pathetic excuse for a man will hopefully be ruing his marriage problems behind bars.
Just accept the fact that he is a criminal and will get what he deserves, if you don't go through with it you will regret it for the rest of your life - especially when you get older.
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