A
female
age
30-35,
*essjess
writes:Ok so I'm in a bit of muddle at the moment and not sure what to do. Basically I've been with my boyfriend for a year and I genuinely love him and feel comfortable in the relationship in every way. However, since going on the contraceptive pill, I've starting getting really worried about getting pregnant. We couldn't have a child now we are too young and it would really screw things up if I got pregnant. I just wouldn't know what to do. I'm not sure I could live with the guilt of abortion. Anyway, at first we used condoms AND the pill but my boyfriend hates using condoms so we now just use the pill, which is supposedly effective enough for you not to have to use condoms (unless you are ill, on antibiotics, miss one by mistake etc I know how it works...!). I love the principle of this because if he enjoys it more then obviously I want that, and also I love the fact that there is nothing artificial between us and we can get as physically close as it is possible to get. However, when he comes inside me, or even when he pulls out (because I know you can get pregnant from precum too), I hate the fact that I COULD get pregnant because I don't KNOW that it's ok...like with condoms you can SEE if it's worked if you know what I mean!! And with condoms AND the pill (which I take at regular times and don't miss) then surely our chances of pregnancy are pretty much zero. I just can't seem to trust the pill. I know that's silly but I just don't trust it. I don't want to make my boyfriend wear condoms because I think I may just be being over paranoid but then because we so do not want me to get pregnant surely it is better to be extra safe and get rid of my worrying at the same time? Should I ask him to go back to condoms? Or is there any compromise we could work out...any suggestions? I haven't told him about this worry because I know he is so happy with how we do things at the moment and I don't want to ruin things for him. Thank you for any help!
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abortion, condom, precum, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): You sound very responsible, if only all younger people were as concerned about contraception as you. It sounds like you would always take your pill too and not forget, which is an important factor.My gf is on the injection, she doesn't get a period because of this and its very safe. This could be an option for you. Secondly if you want to stay on the pill see if your boyfriend can pull out before he ejaculates, that way you are minimising the 1% risk. I pull out all the time with my gf, I really enjoy it. I'm sure he would enjoy it too, particularly if you let me ejaculate on your face or in your mouth, which is what I do each time... it's awesome. Best of luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): If you are really freaked out by not using condoms then you should continue to use them for peace of mind. But rest assured, the contraceptive pill is 99% effective. I used to work as a nurse in an obstetric and gynaecology clinic and out of all the 1000's of women I've come across using the Pill only one has got pregnant whilst taking it properly. All the others who had got pregnant whilst taking it had NOT been taking it correctly.
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (18 August 2009):
jessjess is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much that was really helpful. I agree I think I should tell him. I just need to think of how to because I really don't want him to feel guilty about not wanting to use condoms because sex is better for him without them. He's so lovely that if I told him I was at all worried he would be like...right grab the condoms then even though he'd actually probably be thinking DAMN!! I think I'll just mention that the pill freaks me out a little and that whilst I don't want to use condoms either, I don't know how else to ease the worry. Then I'll see what he says. Any other suggestions by anyone else would be very much appreciated too. Thanks guys :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 August 2009):
 You know I would actually ask your BF to still use the condom even if you are on the pill. If you miss a day, get certain types of antibiotics or if you are in 1% of people who can still get pregnant even with the pill.. Stuff happens.. BE safe.
Also using condoms can keep you from getting STD's.
Better SAFe then sorry.
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A
female
reader, Iloveribbons  +, writes (18 August 2009):
Hey hun. First off, well done for taking the whole issue of pregnancy seriously! I know plenty of people who carried a ''it won't happen to me'' attitude and they are people who know have children.Ok, well I was in the exact same situation when I first started to sleep with my ex boyfriend, and when we first began to have sex relying ONLY on the pill I truly was terrified. But along came my period on my month off and so the worry eased. The pill is something like 98% effective so realistically you are fine with just using it. But I do think you should mention your worries to your boyfriend as it sounds as though you are in a healthy relationship, so expressing these fears to him is productive.Perhaps you could gradually phase condoms out of your sex life until you feel completely safe. Hope this helps in some way.xxx
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