A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My b/f and I had been dating for almost 9 months. We've been through a LOT in those months (including a custody battle over his son, which he won), and things had been a little rocky lately (bickering over stupid things), but things seemed to be getting better. After taking his son for his first court-ordered therapy appt last week, I came home from work and completely out of the blue, he broke up with me, saying he doesn't know if he loves me anymore, maybe we were better off being friends, he doesn't think he wants to get married and have another baby (things that we discussed very early on in the relationship), and basically told me to pack my things. I was shocked, devastated, you name it. He ended up texting me the next night, and after a lot of back and forth, he finally told me that he had lied about something in his past (he was in the Marines, had told me he was discharged for one thing, and it turns out he was discharged for another...dislocating his ankle...the story he told was much worse.) He said he's been lying to everyone about it for years, was afraid he'd lose me if he told me, and he just couldn't live a lie anymore. He was ashamed and felt like a failure, so he made up this other story that he thought sounded more noble. He said he needs counseling, and needs to fix himself if we're going to have any kind of chance, then said he didn't mean any of the things he said the night he broke up with me, that he was just trying to be a jerk and hurt me so that I'd get angry and want to leave.So yesterday, I was finally getting a little better and trying to accept things, and he called, saying he doesn't know what he's doing, he misses me and wants to be with me, but he doesn't know how i could trust him after he lied about such a big part of his past. I said that I can, and what I WILL have trouble getting over is all the hurtful things he said the night we broke up. I just don't understand why he couldn't have just come clean with me instead of kicking me to the curb, but he said he was afraid he'd lose me. So break up with me instead? He kept saying I deserved someone better than him, etc.I'm supposed to go over there tonight to talk, and we both agreed that if we do get back together, we will take it slowly (we were practically living together).....I want to be with him more than anything, but I also don't want to be an idiot....please help!
View related questions:
broke up, discharge, get back together, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, jman25 +, writes (14 April 2009):
I can understand lying about the military discharge.. I mean that's low but... yeah, I don't blame him. BUT it is interesting that of all people he came clean to you first.
|
