A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:To start off, me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 4 years. The last year was long distance since she had moved to a different state over a year ago. This lasted until she broke up with me several months ago. Well since that time we have kept in contact and have begun to fall for eachother again. We're back together! Although taking things slow. I still don't trust her and have many reason's not to at the moment.One such particular reason is that during our break up I've been searching for her on google and came across a profile of her's on myyearbook. I looked into this site and to find out what set's it aside from facebook and myspace which she both has. I realized that myyearbook is mostly designed for meeting strangers online and getting to know people. In other words a teen relationship finder. Since finding this account of her's I've been very suspicious and uncomfortable even after we had gotten back together.The problem now is that since we are together technically we also have to sort of keep it private, not let her folks know or anyone for that matter that she is with me again. Well in order to do this she keeps all her status's on facebook and myspace on single. However her yearbook page has it under complicated. Could this refer to me or perhaps someone else? She doesn't know that I know about this account of hers. Could it be she has been seeing or talking to someone else? I do know she goes on meebo frequently and believe she talks to people she's met on that site.Would it be a good idea to confront her about this and let her know that I'm aware of this account and her relationship status on there? Or would this push her away and cause her to break up with me again? I don't know but I would like to get to the bottom of this because I don't want to be played.
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female
reader, AgonyAuntJ  +, writes (16 August 2010):
 I completely agree with the first answer. Paranoia can drive people mad. Not that you are being paranoid, but the fact that you are questioning things, i mean.
Eventually, if you dont get this off your chest and get some answers, you will probably start to tell yourself that something IS going on, when it may just be something harmless. Perhaps she is still feeling a little nervous about being back with you after a while and is just, as you said yourself, trying to take things real slow.
Why not just ask her? Honesty is always the best policy, cringy as it sounds!
Logically, this is going to eat you up unless you speak to her. Best to have the truth, regardless of whether it is what you want to hear or not. Because atleast that way, it is the truth that hurts, and not something that may be nothing.
If she is seeing someone else, or has been, then you deserve to know. But the only way you will truely find out is by asking her. So i say, speak to her calmly and maturely, tell her what you have seen and what your worries are. Then, whatever the outcome, you can deal with it and move on.
Best of luck!
- AAJ.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): I can understand you being hesitant to bring this up, as you are worried about how she might react. But I think it would be best to ask her about it. If you don't, I think all of the wondering, the "what ifs", the worrying, will start to drive you crazy! And it might affect the relationship anyway. So my opinion is to tell her what you have seen, and ask her about it. I think it will be better to have an answer one way or another than to keep this bottled up and worry endlessly about it.
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