A
male
age
30-35,
*omEight93
writes:I have no trouble speaking to women, in fact I'm quite a flirt. Intimate encounters aren't hard for me to achieve either, I know how to show a girl a good time. But when it comes to relationships I'm entirely unlucky, having never had more than fleeting, unofficial romances. Part of it boils down to caring too much what people think of me, as though the level of attractiveness of a partner would reflect on me. This all changed when I met a girl on a dating siteWe chatted for a good while and had great common ground and eventually arranged a date. Usually I that site to casually meet a girl on a night out and it ends in care free, casual sex. Both parties are satisfied and we call it a day there. But this one was different, I could already tell it wasn't something as shallow as that. It was a simple date, meeting for coffee, but I was actually nervous. Working as a bar tender I simply don't get nervous around women, but Here I was, fluttering ! So we meet up and. I ooze confidence and if it was purely based on looks then I'd say I was perhaps slightly out her league (modest huh). She was shy whereas I was not. The two hours we spent together flew by, but I did notice she kept glancing at the clock. I'll add that she is a year older than myself. Anyway I had to start work and she had to go to so we parted ways with a promise to send her a text. The whole ordeal put me in an excellent mood. The usual women I usually flirt with didn't interest me at all. This woman was on my mind a lot. But since then I'm not so sure. I've tried texting and all i kept is very belated replies. I've tried to arrange a second meeting twice but both times she's been unavailable due to uni. She is in her fourth year and so I guess that seems fair. But surely if she was as interested as I was, she'd be doing more to keep in contact? The rare time I do get a text from her they seem sincere enough. However, after having replied to one of her texts hours ago, I notice she's been active on that same dating site minutes ago. Is all well and I'm being obsessive? Or should I just count my losses and move on?
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confidence, flirt, move on, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2015): The fact she was watching the clock during your date is a clue she wasn't interested. There was no chemistry for her.
The reference you made to your looks as compared to hers wasn't very nice. It was almost saying she should be grateful you gave her the time of day. You didn't say that, but you implied it.
Yes, a girl can be plain and picky. She still knows the type of guy who isn't right for her. Your confidence may have come across as conceit, and she may have felt very uncomfortable being with you. Sometimes you really hit it off well on a date, that doesn't mean you made a romantic-connection. What you saw in her was realness.
You have to also realize that a lot of women and guys don't like to date bartenders. You meet far too many people; and because of that, committed-relationships get a little shaky. You said so yourself, most women you've met online were just hookups. She apparently can site that type of guy straight-on.
Take a hint. If you don't get an enthusiastic response to your messages or calls, the other party isn't interested.
At least you're learning that a woman isn't valued by her looks. You're very young, so we can chalk it up to your youthful inexperience.
A
female
reader, singinbluebird  +, writes (4 March 2015):
 I agree with Honeypie.
She probably knew right away you werent her type. Sometimes, not always, but shy girls tend to like guys who slightly like them (shy as well).
She may sense your player side and is wary. OR she may like you and is playing coy or is feeling unsure about her feelings towards you but that chance is slightly low.
Definitely keep dating and if you are looking for something serious, maybe pull down the player hat and actually start genuinely dating and you will find a diamond of girl who you may actually start taking seriously instead of only casually having sex with.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 March 2015):
 I think you "read" her right. She isn't that into you. Even a shy girl would find time if they were keen on the guy.
My guess is, she felt you two weren't a great match at all (personality wise) She probably felt you were a typical player/charmer.. and well, she is right...
So back to trolling to dating sites for you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 March 2015):
 I think she's NOT interested in you the way you are in her.
let it go.
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