A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I wanted to see if someone has advice on how to get my self esteem up and stop listening to people's negative opinion. I come from a broken home (my dad was abusive to my mom) their still married it was an arranged marriage so long story short there has never been love there but there's been money and success because that's all my mom focused on. I'm 30 now and I have my undergrad and masters and have a good corporate job. My parents have been very pushy in buying a home (investing) and I went three years in wasting money to deal with my loneliness and failed relationship (surprise a guy like my dad) although I'm pretty on the outside and accomplished I'm so lonely and feel like I'm not smart I'm not good enough. My best friend the only woman in my life that I trust and love is sick and I'm helping her financially - I work so hard to get her healthier but I'm not saving money- and I'm still living at home - this makes me feel like a looser (I only have 10k in savings and not retirement money) I panic because I feel like I have nothing to offer - I feel so low. People at work call me a looser cause I live at home ( I mistakenly said that) and I'm not telling my parents I'm helping my best friend cause it appears that all they care about is me getting married and saving. Please let me know your thoughts - I have so much mental conflict. Of course I want to help my best friend( I consider her a sister) and I will but right now there is no way I can save money and I feel like when I have a savings account that's all I'm worth. Meaning at least I'm something if I have some money- I'm not that much of a looser- because everything. Else I don't feel highly of myself - please let me know f anyone has coping tips to avoid negative people and feel somewhat of worthy as a human being.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 December 2016):
 You only have 10k in savings? That is a lot more money than a lot of people have so really you should be thankful. You have a roof over your head and a good chunk off money in the bank and you are still quite young. It is okay to still live at home. If workers are calling you a looser fill in a bullying form and go to your manager. You need to look on the positive side off life. You are a good person helping your friend. Sometimes that is more important than money. Well done for having a kind heart.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2016): If people at work have the nerve to call you a looser then lodge a complaint with human resources.You can also get yourself a solicitor and tell them about this and any other maltreatment you are getting at work and then you can sue the company if the solicitor us happy enough to take the case forward.Living at home with family is an option for many young people these days because it is getting nigh on impossible for people to get on the housing ladder and it is one way to reduce expenses and save some cash.Liquid cash in the form of savings is almost impossible for people from poorer families. The fact that its accessible makes it about four times more valuable than having zero cash and begging for a loan which has to be repaid at vast interest rates and starts to feel like a noose around your neck. This it what the envious people at work feel:They feel trapped while you have financial freedom to make any decision you want to make.Their red eyes want that saving method and accumulated cash that you have.But its not your problem but how they treat you at work is and they are not permitted to discriminate against you because you have decided to minimize overheads by living in a family dwelling.They are not allowed to call you names like looser or to make your working enviroment uncomfortable or unpleasant so do yourself a favour and join a union that represents your industry.Being in a union is essential because they hear you out and support you. They also refer you to a solicitor and pay your legal fees providing you pay your monthly dues which are very reasonable and good value.
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