A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been experiencing somewhat of a problem for a long time now.Right now, I'm a 21 year old male, in great physical condition. I'm dating a girl from one of my classes. She just flew out to China for study abroad, and will be gone for a whole semester. I'll miss her, obviously, but we have methods of communication and the relationship is going well. We've been dating since March. Now here lies the big problem.For some reason or another, when we're getting intimate, I have trouble maintaining an erection. It appears, holds strength for a while and then spontaneously disappears. It may be a few minutes before it comes back again, but after the first incident, it never comes back in full strength and in the end, we have to call it quits.It's embarrassing, even if she says she's not offended by it and understands. Technically, we're both virgins, but not exactly inexperienced.I'm 99% certain this is not a physical problem, but a mental one. I know this because when I wake up in the morning, I more often than not have a very strong erection. I masturbate like any other male - I try to avoid going too much; point being, I have no trouble getting aroused, maintaining a boner and achieving orgasm.It only becomes a problem once a partner is introduced. This isn't the first time this has happened either. Before I started dating my girlfriend, I was involved in a fling - same issue for me, even though I had no trouble making her come.Before that, my ex - I dated her for six months. She was the first girl I was physically intimate with, but it never went that far, because she was uncomfortable with intimacy at times. In all the six months, I never got any sexual satisfaction from her, despite the fact I could make her come nearly every time. Multiple times, things progressed to a point that I thought things were going to work out, that we would be able to have a normal sexual relationship, and then she would suddenly change her mind.Essentially, three girls I've gotten physical with in the past couple of years, and with every single one, ED struck. It's getting frustrating - maybe it's a confidence issue, if I could perform once, things would be all right, but the lack of confidence causes me to suffer ED, which in turn worsens the confidence and so on.Those are the details, and I've run through them in my head multiple times and still can't figure out what the heck is wrong with my mind. I know what is going on, I just need to know WHY, and if I can figure that out, HOW to fix it. I figured I'd ask anonymously to see if anyone else could provide insight.
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both virgins, confidence, erection, my ex, orgasm Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (23 August 2011):
 Well you may want to read the article that I've written for men suffering from ED in the articles section on this site. I think a lot of the information will be very beneficial for you.
Also I think that it really is a confidence issue. Confidence builds with experience, and being that you lack self-confidence, it affects your performance. So you may want to read some self-confidence articles.
And in addition to the tips that I provide in my article for men suffering from ED, you may also want to try masturbating with the intention of practicing longevity in maintaining erections. If you're use to ejaculating in say less than 10 minutes, you may not be conditioned to last for much longer than that. Self control during masturbation helps build stamina.
Hope this helps!
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