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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of 2 yrs told me he was bi-curious, and now a month later he up and decided in one day he wishes to be "Just Friends for a week but not get involved with anyone else than re-evaluate the relationship" because we argue too much. He wants to keep any friendship that might be left. 2 days after says he wants to be "just friends" I walk into his house with his roommate (female) and he is on the couch holding hands with some guy and he has hickies all over his neck....I dont know where to take this...and I dont know if I can be Friends. I feel extremely hurt....Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2005): Wow, I know exactly what your going through. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years also. Suddenly he has a new friend from work and this guy happens to be bi. Now my boyfriend admited to me that he had given and revieved oral sex from this guy "just to get off". Supposedly it didn't meen anything.
This is where the difference is. Holding hand and hickey's seems more intimate than my boyfriend's situation. Maybe he is gay. I know how hurt you are, i'm right there with you, but if you erally love him try to support him and be there for him. I know it feels impossible right now, I KNOW!!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 February 2005):
 Sounds like your boyfriend is Coming Out.A number of gay male friends of mine don't believe that "bi" really exists as a constant state. They say that it's just a stage closeted men go through before they admit to themselves that they're actually - and have always been - gay.I don't know if this analysis is a good "fit" with your boyfriend, but it might give some insight into his behaviour. He may have been fighting his sexuality up until recently and his announcement to you that he, first, was "bi curious" and second, wanted to "be friends" and "re evaluate the relationship", suggests that he's finally decided not to fight any more.Perhaps some gay man with your bf's experience will contradict me (feel free to wade in, fellas), but I don't think that your boyfriend is going to be able to put Jack back into the Box after this, and go back to being straight or be the same man that you knew.Whether or not you wish to remain friends is your call, but your pain and surprise is completely understandable. My suggestion would be to tell him that you're OK about his sexuality, whatever it is, but right now you're not sure what you feel about being "just friends" because you need some time to get over the surprise announcement.Then do it, give yourself some time away and decide whether you can remain friends after all has been said and done. If he's bi - or gay - it's nothing to do with you and he's probably grateful that you were so loving, and the relationship so comfortabe that he finally felt all right about telling you about his alternative sexuality. For that, you can pat yourself on the back.Take care.
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