A
female
age
51-59,
*helby1
writes:We were dating for 14 months and it seemed perfect in everyway, about 4 weeks ago he told me his feelings had changed. Is that normal? He had always told me he loved me and he would always be here for me. Still four weeks later I feel as though my whole world has stoped. We were very compatiable, the only thing he said was, people change and my feelings have changed and at this time I do not want to be in any relationship. We are not young people, I am 39 and he is 49 and we have both been married in the past. What the heck am I to do now. He dosn't think it would be a good idea if we even saw each other now and then, because he wouldn't want me to think it is more than it would be. Somebody please help me to understand this man. He also tells me that it is nothing I did that it is all him. What ever, please help me. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): Yes, feelings do flux and change from one day to the next in the world of love and dating, no matter the age. When a guy wants to be with a woman, he will do anything and I mean anything--to be with her. Your guy is not doing that. He has been open, truthful and given you a clear sign he wants to move on and I am sorry...I know it must hurt. Try to rationalize and remember, for every rejection in life's road..a new path of opportunity opens up for you, meaning that you will meet someone who is right just for you eventually. There are many decent, wonderful guys out there. But first, start looking after you and begin the grieving. You need to do this. Connect with your friends and family..you need support right now. If you can’t remember or figure out what makes you feel good, what you are interested in, then you need to. Now...face this loss, recover and go find a life that rocks! It will happen..believe me when I say that. Good luck, dear and start taking steps to moving forward.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (22 March 2007):
 People DO change unfortunately. That is the reason we have relationships, to see if they work. Yours did for a while but he's either got bored, met someone else, feels the relationship has its downside or has new priorities. He obviously doesn't want to tell you in exactly what way he's changed or what he wants to do with his future, what he IS saying, unfortunately is that the relationship has run its course (for him) and he wants to end it.
It's always hurtful for the one on the receiving end, especially when you love him and the longer you are both together the harder it is for you to accept and for him to tell you. You can't MAKE someone love you I'm afraid so you'll need to respect his decision and try and move on now. You could mabe ask him to at least explain why he wants to finish it and what is it that's changed about him? Tell him to be more specific with you, he obviously knows the reason and he owes it to you to tell you after being with you for so long.
Eve
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