A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy online, cute, successful, seemed absolutely normal. We have seen each other twice each time for 24 hours straight and have talked on the phone for probably the past month. Extremely physically attracted to each other as well. Have not had intercourse and don't plan to right now, however anything else is pretty much fair game. He calls me up a few nights ago and wants me to have phone sex. We had done it once before and I was cool with that. Before we even started though he asked me a question. The guy is very into being submissive to me when we do make out and he wanted to know if he could call me every time he wanted to masturbate to ask for my permission.... I think I was in shock. Why would he want to have me do that? The week before he had called and we had "the talk" about how this was just having fun, getting to know each other, not boyfriend/girlfriend yet and I was cool with that, but he was acting like I was asking for committment when I wasn't. But he calls me frequently and sees me whe he can. Why would he want to ask me something like that? So now I'm totally freaked out and feel like I'll never be able to live up to his expectations in bed. What else could he ask me?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (31 January 2009):
I don't think you get what he meant by "fun" and "submissive."
He wants to have fun and his idea of fun is being submissive.
By being YOUR submissive he wants to give full control of himself to YOU.
Therefore he wants you to control what sexual fun he has.
If you were in a full relationship that would mean controlling what he did, what he wore, and by telling him he has to eat a peach at lunch he'll get turned on when eating it, knowing he is doing as he's told to please you.
However, you are not having a relationship, you are just having a bit of fun. So he's just going to ring you up and ask permission to wank and you can yes or no, and he'll enjoy it either way.
If you aren't into it then just tell him and you and he can be mates instead.
Look up a film called Secretary (with Maggie Gylenhall) and that might give you a bit more of an idea.
Good Luck!! xx
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