A
female
 ,
*ugapuff
writes:my boyfriend is goin through some depression and before this i was having panic attacks things are ok with me now but hes still goin through his depression waiting to get some help etc!basically we have not had sex for months i understand this must be the last thing on his mind right now as it was for me during the time i was having my panic attacks my libedo was gone!before all these problems we had a great sex life!now im beginng to feel more sexual but i was always quite shy about sex didnt have alot of confidence he really helped me be comfortable with myself i got alot of confidence!but now ive none again i dont feel sexy i dont feel wanted.im more than willing to wait til hes feeling better!but hes lost so much confidence to i just dont know how things will pick back up i really dont feel like i could initiate things and know i will need alot of reassuring but he must to i just dont know how we can give each other this i love him so much and i know he loves me but part of me is so scared he doesnt want me sexually anymore that he doesnt see me that way cause im very silly and kinda happy go luckylike a big kid at times how can i keep my personality but be seen in a more sexual way!please help ive had some hard times i dont wanna start feeling bad about myself again!unsexy and un attractive!
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female
reader, sugapuff +, writes (11 September 2006):
sugapuff is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks baby girl the stuff about feeling gud about myself no matter wat really helped!
ive come so far and if i dont wanna feel tat way again i have to like myself guy or no guy!
as 4 him i cant get him to go anywere or do anything new!
i do have alot of experience wit depression unfortunatly
im just hoping the counciler will get tru to him cause i try he says he needs space rite now so im giving him that all he wants to do is play guitar he loves music so im glad he can escape in that.
i definately think i cant do much more cause he wont let me till he talks to a counciler and figures out wat he needs!thanks alot 4 ur help =)
A
female
reader, sugapuff +, writes (10 September 2006):
sugapuff is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim all sorted on meds 4 panic attacks 4 a few months now hes been to the doctors and is waiting 4 a appointment with a pysciatrist.my worry is have we become to comfortable and stopped seeing each other sexually and if so can we get tat back it was there before!
he has assured me its not tat he doesnt fancy me!
but i know my personality i cant be all flirty and seductive unless i do it unintentionally!
i guess im hoping 4 advice on were and how to start rebuilding that side of the relationship when the times rite it just seems so daunting rite now!
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (10 September 2006):
 OK, Has he been to see his GP about his depression? Depression does cause a lack of interest in sex, so don't take it personally.
I am glad you are trying to understand his condition and he will need all your support at the moment, especially if he is not on any medication.
Try not to pressure him into sex, because this will make him feel more worthless than he already does.
I think it is important that you should take medication also if you are taking panic attacks.
Try not to think of yourself as no longer being sexy, I am sure your boyfriend finds you just as sexy as always.
Once you are both on the required medication, you will appreciate each other all the more and will soon resume sexual activity and realise the pleasure had just been put on hold, not left behind completely.
He is lucky to have somebody so understanding, give yourself the credit for that.
I wish you both the very best of luck.
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