A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm 24, still a virgin and have found the love of my life. We're getting engaged soon and I really would like to have sex. I have not had intercourse before because I'm afraid of the pain. We have tried before but it feels too weird and i feel very sensitive at the entrance. Is this normal? We've tried lube and it doesn't work. We tried going slow and starting with a lubed up finger...the finger hardly even goes half way before i make him pull it out. How am i supposed to have sex if I cant get a finger in?Someone told me to go to a sex therapist. It is very hard to find one around where i live, if even possible. I do get very aroused and VERY VERY wet when we make out and have oral sex or even when i grind on him.. I do orgasm too. He has NEVER once complained which i think is amazing of him, but he has never cum without him having to eventually finish himself off, because he cant cum from BJs and HJs alone. I just want to please my man (and myself)! Any tips, creams, lubes, lotions, devices that i should try?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ZakiJaye  +, writes (29 July 2009):
Your worrying about it hurting is just making it worse, If you stay this tense it is no wonder you can't do it. You need to learn to relax. Try and find some relaxation techniques that will help stop you getting so tense.
It can feel weird and of course that area is sensitive.
Maybe you should try at home alone with your own fingers or a vibrator so you can gradually get used to it so that when the time comes you are more comfortable with the idea.
Remember vaginas were built to put penises in, that's a big part of the reason we have them.
When other girls say it hurts the first time it sounds scary but, the pain is really not that bad, if it was why would they do it again.
The fact that you have a nice understanding man is such a great thing. If your relationship is so good without sex then imagine how close you will feel when you get over this.
Good luck
Z.
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