A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a normal straight guy with good job, beautiful wife, and kids. 40. Lately, I have been finding myself fantasizing about stuff that I wouldn't have even thought about untill now. Sex life with wife is great. But I guess I want more spice in life. Out of the blue, I responded to a gay personals ad, and went to see the guy. Had a homosexual epxerience first time with a guy. It wasn't all that I expected. I probably wouldn't do it again. He was very good and gave me lot of attention and care. But it didn't feel as pleasurable as it does with women. Doing it with wife is lot more fun. Besides, I wanted to feel it in my bum to see if it realy is as pleasureable as they say it is. It didn't happen as I was too tight and it was going to be very painfull. I otherwise played very safe. But enjoyed the attention, receiving BJ, etc. Is there something realy wrong with me? I know I am NOT gay, but I don't know why I acted on it? I would think about trying it again, but without getting it into my bum, I don't know what the point is. I am not particularly intested in putting mine in other guy because I have a wife with much lovelier and softer and nicer ass! I am confused about my personality now. Please give some advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): Hi,
I am currently engaged to a lovely man who I recently found out had had bisexual experiences in the past. Isolated experiences but I caught him getting turned on by exchanging a few dirty e-mails with guys. Let me tell you, it is now the hardest time of my life.. being straight and never been with someone like that b4 has shocked me and I'm having a hard time to understand and accept this and go on with our lives. I think about your wife.. U should def be very careful and make sure she doesnt get hurt.. if you have to talk about it go ahead and do it but dont cheat. Its the most painfull experience for a woman specially if shes caught off guard...
I myself am tying to cope with all this. He declares undying love for me and truly desires a family and a me as a wife and promissed to keep those things in the past. Forever. My desperation here is about how much he is sure he doesnt need to experiment those things anymore. Only time will tell me. You prob have had this experience and maybe that will be it. U know what you like better and the loving relatioship with you wife and family is still way more important I believe..
I would also apreciate if some of you guys helped me out with my dilema.. even the guy who posted it first...
I feel lonely and confused. Desiring a lot to forgive my fiancee of his almost "cheating" situation with the e-mails and be in peace again.
Thanks.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): OK so you experimented. Please consider however that just because you chose to spend this sexual time with another man (and not another woman) does not mean you haven't cheated. While you work out what you are, or rather are not, please consider the physical health (STD transmission) and emotions of your wife who is blissfully unaware of all this (so far). Some fantasies are best left as they are, but if you are convinced you are gay then please do the honourable thing and let your wife go because I know two women, one who was married to a gay man who would not admit it, and another who nearly married a guy and was with him for 10 years before he admitted being gay and the sense of betrayal for a woman can be worse than if a man had cheated on them with another woman. She deserves loyalty surely? Perhaps you are bi-sexual but if you want to act on your desires you MUST be open with your wife and give her the opportunity to respond and live how she wants to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): I found your post quite interesting. When I was a teen, and well into years past teenage, I was emphatically grossed out by the mere thought of gay sex. Oh, I suppose part of it was the extreme homophobia of the times. But not all -- I detest the public demonstrations that go with 'pride parades' to this day.
Having been married for 25 years, I find my fantasies include same sex stuff. I can't imagine a circumstance where I'd be able to try it, but for the last few years I've been thinking I'd give it a go if the opportunity did arise. I don't question my sexuality any more -- I like girls. I like the A LOT. My head gets turned by attractive women several times a day. I've never had that happen with a guy.
However -- I'm bored with my sex life, and want to try something new. Wouldn't consider leaving my wife and kids for a man, not for a second. But would consider an experiment. I guess I've just grown up and grown old enough to understand that I'm a very sexual being that craves variety.
Sounds like you've done some of that thinking, and you grabbed the opportunity to check it out. No harm, no foul. Hell, I'm a bit jealous.
So chalk it up to experience, go back to being a devoted husband and father, and enjoy the memory of having scratched the itch.
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A
female
reader, The Shadow's Tears  +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Hello!well, it could be that your having curious thoughts, ye-know "just want to know what its like" i don't think that you should worry to much at this point. because it doesn't sound to me like your to confused. i, think it may be an attention thing. you know, the gay guy giving you attenchen. (not saying your wife isn't) i'm straight-ish, but i like kissing and hugging on women. i mean i would never date a woman. (as of this time) but i don't mind making out with them.i think that, maybe you like trying things new, and this is just a experiment. so don't worry to much. if you know your strength and you know you love your wife and kids then theres nothing wrong with you. but i wouldn't advise cheating on your wife with, well, anyone. that might turn bad. oh and i also know that straight guys will some times act out gay roles in gay porn, you know, having sex with another males. and still be straight. it could be that your so sure your straight your not scared to experiment a little, that's me. hope this helps ^^X: Shadow Tears
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A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Hi there,According to the Kinsey Scale, human sexuality can be classified into 6 categories; 0 representing 100% heterosexual (straight), and 6 representing 100% homosexual (gay). Some people may be at a 1 or 2, but go their whole lives believing themselves to be 0, or they consciously repress any occasional homosexual inclinations/fantasies. The truth is, nobody can make a generalized statement of fact because every person is unique. Perhaps a trained therapist could help you unravel the question of ‘why’, but for now let us deal with the question of ‘what now.’It is a stereotype that all gay men like anal sex. It is likewise a stereotype that some straight men don’t enjoy prostate stimulation. There are many sex-toys created just for that purpose (‘prostate massager’ available in all shapes and sizes)! Perhaps you could buy one and see if it appeals to you. If it does than you might consider introducing it to your sex-life with your wife.Do you and your wife have an open relationship? If so than perhaps this is something you can discuss with her. However, if not, then one avenue of concern might be that you committed adultery and seem more concerned with your personal issues rather than its impact on your marriage and possible health-issues you could introduce to your wife. Despite that you ‘played safe’ there are a number of STIs that can be transmitted. That is to say nothing for the personal safety issue associated with meeting strangers for sex via online personals ads.I realize that my closing words may seem blunt, and believe me, I am not trying to ‘scold’ you here. However, I feel my points are worth recognizing. You seem to genuinely love, desire and care for your wife. I wish you the best.
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