A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a straight girl who fancies her male gay best friend. I've known him for 3 months and he told me he was gay from the start. We clicked from the start and we have great chemistry. Initially I tried to set him up with dates with some other gay men I knew, but it didn't work out as he is very picky. Recently he has been saying stuff like we make a great couple, we should move in together, we should have sex, he can do commitment etc. He has never had sex with a woman before and he said months ago he could never get it up for a woman. However as our friendship has grown deeper, it is obvious from the way he looks and speaks to me that he loves me and wants to take it further ie sex and a relationship with me.Should I go for it? Will it ruin the friendship? I want to be friends for life with him and I'm always friends with guys before I sleep with them, I've never had a one night stand and for me love and sex go hand in hand, and when I have sex with a guy I expect a relationship to come out of it, which I've told him.What do I do?Our relationship is very jokey, but sometimes we touch on relationship issues and he looks into my eyes and is deadly serious (and sober!).However, one time I was drunk and I was sliding my hands up and down his thighs, he was sober, and then we were chatting, he then says "I need to get a boyfriend" and "I need a drink" at which point he got off the chair and got a drink. As I was very drunk and casual it didn't matter to me and he walked over to get a drink and chatted to a mutual friend of ours. At social events he's always by my side and when he isn't he's watching me all the time.What do I do?He is not promiscious with men and friendship is important to him. His friendship is very important to me, I want to be his friend for life.
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best friend, drunk, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): ...to be honest, i agree with 14all, you should confront him about it, and ask the question then and there, so at least he won't leave you hanging and asking for that 'if maybe' possibility...
...here's a link that tells of other women who have experiences similar to yours:
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68029
A
male
reader, 14all  +, writes (30 December 2008):
Instead of asking us, ask him. Tell him you need a no-kidding around straight answer (pun intended) about whether he thinks the two of you have actual potential in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, ser2187 +, writes (30 December 2008):
He is gay you are the wrong sex. He is a girl friend thats all. Dont try to change him just be his friend.
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