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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am freaking out! There's a girl (let's call her Liz) at school who i can't stand but is a friend of a friend so she sometimes hangs out with us. I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend who i broke up with in January, he knows i still like him so treats me as his bitch because he knows he just needs to snap his fingers and i'll come running (i can't help it!). He's still with the girl who he dumped me for, but he keeps flirting majorly with Liz. He kissed her on the lips twice, and now keeps telling her she has nice lips, thinks she's really hot etc. even though she has a bf who she's very happy with. I think she likes him too as she's always got on with him well, and they've known eachother as long as i've known him. When he first started talking to her on the phone he asked me for her number, even though he doesn't even know i know her, and he has friends who do know her well but didn't ask them. What game is he playing? Is he trying to wind me up/trying to make me jealous/testing me to see if i still like him/completely oblivious to the fact he's hurting me by rubbing my nose in it? I'm so scared that they're going to start dating, i wouldn't be able to handle it. Seeing him waiting for her where he used to wait for me and having to make polite conversation with him as if he was just a friend to me. What can i do? please help me. I'm convinced he's playing games with me.
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female
reader, bridget +, writes (23 April 2006):
 Hey there anon
First of all why are you letting this ex boyfriend of yours control you? You definately should not let yourself be lowered to that level of any ex boyfriend...
Ex boyfriends are exes for a reason.. They once were something and now they are not, they belong in the past.. You definately should not let anyone control you in that manner that means that person thinks they have internal power over what you do and can be controlling this is unfair to you..
He think that he is also aware that he is hurting you but he wants you to be jealous and he knows he can win this game, only if you let him.. I understand that you said you love him and you obviously still have very strong feelings for him aswell to mention the "L" word, but if he is treating you like his slave there is absolutely no need to have him in your life...
He is maybe testing you to see if you still have feelings for him but he is going the wrong way about it... Using other people as the bait is wrong and unfaithful. Shame on him!
I think the best thing for you to do is be with other friends just now and steer clear of him.. You will only get upset when his nasty behaviour continues..
It might blow over when he sees you are not peying the blind bit of attention..
Good Luck and Best Wishes
Jacqueline
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