A
female
age
30-35,
*beytahemera19
writes:So im currently 5 months pregnant, and have been in this relationship for a little over 10 months. We certainly rushed into things real quick and not I am not only regreting the fact that we rushed it so quick but the situation im in as well. I stay at home all day pretty much clean and whatnot what can get done throughout the day he works from 10 to 8 and mainly works with his older brother, I understand that he has been working with his older brother for years now and two heads are better than one but I have tried to talk to him when he is finally up and ready and start his own business it'd be just him and he usually answers that with a no and the reason why to it. The thing is the money they earn pretty much goes together yes each makes thier half and whatnot but it seems as the brother handles the money and decides what and where its going to be spent on. That bothers me a tad bit... Once a month at the beginning of the month he gets a couple hundred dollars and we go to walmart and buy what we need such as shampoo and whatnot what I dont get if its his half and whatnot why doesnt he just put that into his seperate account? I have already made up my mind that if this continues and if nothing changes once my child is born I will not put up with that. He tells me the reason why the moneys all conjoined in one account is because his brother pretty much started all this and that he is bad with managing money. I hate asking for stuff or anything I just dont feel comfortable I feel like im asking my hubby and his brother instead of just my spouse. Its a really odd feeling, like I said if he doesnt decide that hey maybe its time to do stuff on my own than i will leave him and just keep doing what im doing. Go back to school and take care of my child and find a man that has hiw own. Would this bother anybody else out there?
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female
reader, abeytahemera19 +, writes (1 February 2012):
abeytahemera19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry but marriage to me isnt all important he is definitely not a stranger mister anonymous.
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (20 January 2012):
 There is a lot more to life than money and a man who shares with his brother is probably a better catch than a man who is frivolous with his pennies.
I wouldn't worry too much about the ins and outs of his business, as you say, you are still getting to know him.
As much as the situation has been rushed into, he might be feeling that there are things he doesn't necessarilly agree with in what you do either so there may be some bumps in the road both sides in the future but they should really be addressed now before the baby arrives, or else it might blow up in your faces at a later date.
You both need to be on the same page as soon it won't be about you or him or his brother anymore but about the new baby so get all of your ducks in a row and speak to him about your concerns and see if he has any in return. It can work out just fine - just make sure you both know where you stand and in which direction you are going to go as a couple.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2012): "I hate asking for stuff or anything I just dont feel comfortable I feel like im asking my hubby and his brother instead of just my spouse."
You're not asking hubby/spouse, you're asking the stranger you're shacking up with and knocked up by even though you've known him less than a year.
You can't ask your hubby/spouse for anything until after the wedding when he his legally your hubby/spouse.
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