A
female
age
41-50,
*luntasaspoon
writes:This is actually quite hard for me to do, i am and have been deeply in love with my step brother for over 20 years. our parents were together when we were three till 13. he never lived with us and only stopped over once a month. our parents had kids and now we share the same half brothers.when i was about sixteen seventeen we slept together and it felt so natural but afterwards he freaked out and we have not spoken to each other for the past ten years.i went on a bit of a mental breakdown and decided that i was going to tell my step brother how i felt about him and suprisingly enough to me he replied that the only reason he was a bit freaked was due to us having the same brothers.so after i blurted everything out to him we agreed that it was all said and done and that it wouldnt be brought up again by either of us for a bit.so we started to chat on facebook thru messages and i found out that he had split up with his current mrs as she was cheating on him and it was killing him, we chatted for ages about her and i know it sounds corny but i knew what to say to him to calm him down. a few weeks ago he told me how georgus i was and i was in total shock, when we had had our little chat about the sex thing we decided that any feelings i had for him were to be ignored untill such a time when i could deal with it with his help (he has helped me out loads with my bad memories)so here i am on msn chattin to him and he starts telling me how he had forgotten how georgus i was and how nice i looked and all this stuff, and i was like hold on a min whats going on here? well we kept on chattin like normal and i went to bed.my ex husband and i have been having the worst time ever and i finaly called it a day about a week or so ago. i know that my step brother is the thing that has helped me finaly split up wiht my hubby and i dont feel to bad about that because we really did need to get rid of each other and it is quite an amicable break up, i dont love him and vica versa.so my step bro does'nt speak to me for a week and i am litterally going insane. did he mean what he said , didnt he? was he ever going to talk to me again? how can i get him to speak to me? and lots of other questions were running through my mind.so i msn'd him on sunday morning and we were talking untill gone 3 the next morning, he was complimenting me again, and then on the monday we were talking for most of the day and we were both complimenting each other. then on wednesday we got into the nitty gritty side of things, i know that i have got to take it slowly with him but we ended up going cyber that night. the next day i was on a total high, even now thinking of it is making me smile. i txt him asking if he had a good night and he said it was good, and asked me the same. then when i got onto msn i asked him if he was still ok with what happened on wedesday and wether or not he was going to go stranger on me again and he said that he gets distant all the time. i asked him again later on in the evening as he hadnt answered me properly adn he said the same but also said that he would never do that to me again. what i want to know is if i am being a fool, i know that i love him more than anything and i think he does me and i know that i need to take it slowly with him but why do i feel as if he is going to run off again and block me. it would hurt like hell if he did but i just need some advice here, what do i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 You have made a very big mistake and need to move on otherwise you could be hurt again but this time even more so. A relationship of this kind is socially taboo and you will both need to be strong to survive, he has shown that he does not have that strength.
Your family and friends will turn their backs on you people who find out will shun you, your husband will use this against you, you will lose your kids and when your cousin leaves you will end up with nothing absolutely nothing.
Look at the many other reasons why he will most likely leave you, his response to what happened last time was shock and horror and this reality will return again such strong feelings do not just disappear. He is on a rebound from his relationship and possibly lonely, you enter the scene and made yourself available and he stupidly accepted the offer but he will not be able accept or live with what has happened.
A
female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (4 July 2009):
You need to get some help it sounds like you have some serious mental/self esteem issues because how can you be in love with someone for 20 yrs and you only seen them once a month are you serious honey you are in love with a fantasy and he played into that to make you feel good and it worked dont expect to much from him because this is a very stressful situation get your mind straight and stop looking for him to make your life great.
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