A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Was just wondering what you all thought about being with your first true love forever.I know it's rare, but say you were faced with this situation. You've been with them a long time. You love them, the relationship is incredible, and they're your first/only love. If they asked you to marry them, would you do it?Or do you think it's important to experience lots of other people?Is it wiser to throw away a perfectly good relationship to gain experience, or wiser to stay with someone you love and possibly "miss out"? Reply to this Question Share |
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (13 September 2006):
Getting "experience" is quite overrated and I agree with Yos 100%. Most times than none all you get is a lot of unecessary baggage that makes it harder for you to go about a normal relationship. Trust me the grass is not always greener. You will gain experience through time and other people's bad ordeals. People out here now would kill to be in the position you are in right now. All these people you see in the clubs and pubs are looking for what you already have so that should tell you the "experience" is not what its cracked up to be.
A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (13 September 2006):
Stay with the person you love. If you truly love them. The experience of being in a loving relationship is a hundred times more valuable and special than any number of less sincere casual relationships.
I don't think its important to experience lots of other people. It can be a good thing for some, but it can also be damaging. Having had previous bad relationships can make it harder to have a good relationship now. Being hurt in the past can make it more difficult to trust, commit and be intimate. In other words, getting 'experience' can frequently be counter productive, giving us baggage that we need to overcome rather than knowledge that aids us.
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A
female
reader, wisedispenser +, writes (13 September 2006):
Hey there,
It certainly sounds as though you have a special relationship. I suspect that you are relatively young. My advice to you is that there is definetely no need to rush into marriage, no matter how special the relationship.
Equally so, I don't think there is any particular life-enhancing quality to having lots of partners, unless you feel unfulfilled.
Perhas the best answer for you, at this time, is to stay in the relationship without forging the permanent commitment that marriage requires. Given more time, you will see if you are going to grow together or grow apart.
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