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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a complete dilemma, Here's the background......I have known my (now) boyfriend since I was 18 and we have always been friends. I got married young to someone else! moved overseas, I had a child and a messy divorce.The three of us (he has no children) have lived together for over two years, quite happily in his house and I have a very good career. I am financially independant, but I really really want to move overseas permanently with my job or to transfer. My child is now 8 and is keen to go as well, but loves him very much.Nothing else is stopping us and financially it would be a good move. We could have a great house and lifestyle better then here. The thought of staying in this country would only be to be with him, but having lived abroad before, I know what I am missing and so far, I have stayed here just to be with him.We do talk about marriage and kids in any order but I won't get married yet as it would mean I would be stuck here.Problem is my boyfriend is completely not interested in ever living overseas - part of me feels that if he loves me as much as I love him then he should at least give it at try, as I have stayed here for two years. The other half of me thinks if I don't go now I never will and I feel trapped here becasue I love him so very much. I am a stupid romantic who believes in the b/w movies with the guy chasing the girl!Q: do I stay or go overseas? And what do I do about my lovely boyfriend? I will never get a bloke like him again.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006): I know your problem. I am in a similar one. But I believe strongly that the place I live is important. I think that you should ask him to compromise with you. To at least try 1 year abroad with you to see how he likes it. Obviously he's happy where he is and so has no desire to try anywhere else, so maybe that's positive in the sense that if he goes somewhere else he might be just as happy there too. My advice is to propose an initial one year abroad all together, then make your next decision. Hope all goes well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006): Tell him what you're telling us here. See what he will say. In other words, you should present your question here to him.
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